Rush - What to NOT do or say

AOIIalum · #1 03-12-2003, 11:39 PM

Awww, I helped someone! What a great feeling!

Here's another one I thought of today, while wearing my Corporation Board President hat:

"No matter what, don't assume!"

Just because you know 'everyone' in JKL and your 'best friend' is in UV, that does not mean you get a bid. It also doesn't mean that you will even like JKL or UV! If you like PQR the best for you, then that's the answer

Gosh, it's so easy to say all this now. I wish I knew all this stuff 20 years ago!

Christin
GO BIG BLUE

#2 08-15-2006, 09:09 AM

i have something to add about something a member should not do or say.

when i was rushing, i was hanging out with some other girls and the members of a sorority after an event in a dorm room. a few of the current members starting talking about a party they went to the night before and instead of trying to get the girls rushing involved in the conversation by explaining who so and so was that they were talking about or even where and when the party was they talked about it as if they were all alone in the room. it was very rude and made the sorority seem cliquish. it almost made me not want to join.

i know this may seem like a given rule to a lot of people, but to them it wasn't. so keep in mind to explain simple things to make sure everyone feels involved and wanted.

AlphaFrog · #3 08-15-2006, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jessicaelaine

i have something to add about something a member should not do or say.

when i was rushing, i was hanging out with some other girls and the members of a sorority after an event in a dorm room. a few of the current members starting talking about a party they went to the night before and instead of trying to get the girls rushing involved in the conversation by explaining who so and so was that they were talking about or even where and when the party was they talked about it as if they were all alone in the room. it was very rude and made the sorority seem cliquish. it almost made me not want to join.

i know this may seem like a given rule to a lot of people, but to them it wasn't. so keep in mind to explain simple things to make sure everyone feels involved and wanted.

This should not be an issue, as sorority members should not be hanging out with Rushees during rush outside of rush parties.

MSKKG · #4 08-15-2006, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

This should not be an issue, as sorority members should not be hanging out with Rushees during rush outside of rush parties.

I was wondering about that, too. Could it have been a COR event?

#5 08-15-2006, 02:36 PM

well, at my school, it being so small we have very informal rush. we hang out with rushees all the time because we set up booths in the atrium of one of the main buildings that have couches and tables and chairs to sit at. at least one member is there during the day so just anyone can walk up to us and ask us questions and hang out. i like it better because it seems a lot less stressful and not so demanding with your schedule. and i hung out with a girl who is rushing this year all last year, so it's kind of hard to say it should never happen. there are always exceptions. and i also believe the moral of my story was to explain things that may seems simple to you so that everyone feels involved and wanted. i didn't say that could only happen in that type of situation. it could happen anywhere.

grkfuture10 · #6 12-04-2006, 02:46 PM

Wow, this is so helpful to me! I'm glad that there are greek ladies who are so helpful to young ladies like me trying to learn all they can to be a prospective addition to a sisterhood!

pssgirl83 · #7 12-12-2006, 02:16 AM

One on the biggest don't do's we had is do not ever under any circumstances is to not say anything that has to do with legacy, esp. if the PNM is a younger sibling of an active. We had one of the girls do this. they were twins and one had joined in the fall and the other did spring informal, she did not get a bid just for the fact that she thought we "owed" it to her because her sister was already a member.

AChiOhSnap · #8 12-12-2006, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pssgirl83

One on the biggest don't do's we had is do not ever under any circumstances is to not say anything that has to do with legacy, esp. if the PNM is a younger sibling of an active. We had one of the girls do this. they were twins and one had joined in the fall and the other did spring informal, she did not get a bid just for the fact that she thought we "owed" it to her because her sister was already a member.

This is good advice. Even though we had a fairly competitive recruitment at my school, girls would always go through that didn't know better and assumed they would get a bid to XXX sorority for whatever reason. Acting as if you're owed a bid to a certain house is a great way to get yourself cut from ALL the sororities after the first round.

KSUViolet06 · #9 12-12-2006, 02:50 AM

I agree. If you are an "in house" legacy to a chapter (meaning your sister or other relative is currently in that specific chapter), chances are good that the entire sorority already knows that you are a legacy. You don't need to remind them. It sounds presumptuous.

There is also no need to let EVERY OTHER sorority know that you have a sister in XYZ. The more you mention it, the more sororities might think you're not interested in them and drop you. If your legacy sorority cuts you, that puts you in a tough spot.

tunatartare · #10 12-12-2006, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

There is also no need to let EVERY OTHER sorority know that you have a sister in XYZ. The more you mention it, the more sororities might think you're not interested in them and drop you. If your legacy sorority cuts you, that puts you in a tough spot.

We had a girl come through one year who not only did this, but also told the other three sororities that she's a legacy to EFG through her sister and that it's "taken care of."

Jill1228 · #11 12-12-2006, 11:38 AM

so was she dropped like a bad habit? It woulda served her ass right!

Quote:

Originally Posted by tunatartare

We had a girl come through one year who not only did this, but also told the other three sororities that she's a legacy to EFG through her sister and that it's "taken care of."

ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl · #12 01-23-2007, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tunatartare

We had a girl come through one year who not only did this, but also told the other three sororities that she's a legacy to EFG through her sister and that it's "taken care of."

She should've been dropped for that! And it's so bad for her too...what if she in the end decides she wants to join another chapter after all? They won't want her.

LaurynZTA · #13 04-22-2007, 04:10 AM

we dont talk about boyfriends alot, but theres sometime you dont have anything else to talk to the girl about. when i went through, i remember i was worried because my bf wasnt going to school with me so i asked one of the sisters if it was difficult with her bf and she told me sometimes but now always, and that really helped me alot.

but we do try to focus only on zta and not our personal lives, but if girls ask and its approapriate, we do answer them.

ALSO

My Rho Betas always told the PMNs, "if you left the __ house after a rush party and realized you left your purse inside, who you be embarrassed to walk back inside to get it?"
Also another good one is, "If you're in the middle of recruitment and you start your period, would you be scared to ask one of the girls for a tampon?"

They seem like silly questions, but during rush there were the houses I just didnt click with the girls and I would have been terrified to ask for a tampon or to go back and get my purse. But at the ZTA house, it was just a match. I felt at home there and it was like instant BFFs.

Maybe that might help if you have a girl torn between 2 houses or if youre a Rho Beta.

\^^^/
ZETA TAU ALPHA
Theta Eta Chapter - SFASU

amiki246 · #14 05-04-2007, 12:19 AM

Hi. I read all the post on recruitment advice and what not to say. I rushed a sorority and I rushed more than once and I did not do a thing that would fall under the category of "don't say this or don't ask that" and I still did not get a bid. I am a nice and friendly person and I tried to get around and speak to all the girls. I remember one girl even asked me if I would ever want to live in the house or be on their executive board and that was only my second night there. Where did I go wrong? What could I have done differently. Not getting a bid made me really upset and I have gotten over it, but there are still days when I see girls wearing letters and I say to myself "what is wrong with me? how come I did not get a bid?"

And this is kind of a different subject, when rush was over, some of the girls I spoke to and that were nice to me, will either not even look at me or give me a "haha you did not get a bid" or a "I am better than you" look. Why is this?

#15 05-04-2007, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amiki246

Hi. I read all the post on recruitment advice and what not to say. I rushed a sorority and I rushed more than once and I did not do a thing that would fall under the category of "don't say this or don't ask that" and I still did not get a bid. I am a nice and friendly person and I tried to get around and speak to all the girls. I remember one girl even asked me if I would ever want to live in the house or be on their executive board and that was only my second night there. Where did I go wrong? What could I have done differently. Not getting a bid made me really upset and I have gotten over it, but there are still days when I see girls wearing letters and I say to myself "what is wrong with me? how come I did not get a bid?"

And this is kind of a different subject, when rush was over, some of the girls I spoke to and that were nice to me, will either not even look at me or give me a "haha you did not get a bid" or a "I am better than you" look. Why is this?

Unfortunately, no one here will be able to give you the answers you seek because we weren't the ones who rushed you.

Did you go through NPC rush? I find it weird that someone would ask you such questions during rush.

At the same time, the reasons why someone was cut/did not receive a bid are not disclosed to non-members as the membership selection process is private.

The things listed here are not the be-all, end-all of recruitment. Just because a PNM follows the advice here it won't guarantee her a bid.