multiple bids

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I received multiple bids and chose D Phi E. At the time, there were 7 sororities, 6 NPC including a colony and 1 local. Only 5 had informal rush the fall of my freshman year. Formal rush was in the spring. My rush wasn't as chaotic as formal, and I met many, many women in different sororities. I think that it worked out well for me.

[IvySpice]

I think the system of offering one bid is terrific -- just like the system of ranking houses after each party rather than choosing from among invitations. I see the fact that women have to be cut as an unavoidable evil of the sorority system. The less emphasis the system places on the "popularity" aspect of rush, the better. How will a PNM feel when she gets two pref invites and her friend gets six? She may feel that no one likes her and she might as well drop out now. Since they can only attend two, let them rank in advance and then told which two they should attend. Same goes for bids. The return results should be exactly the same, but there will be fewer hurt feelings.

Ivy

[shadowstar]

obviously, during informal rush people can get more than one bid. but, personally, i think the way the fraternities do the whole rush thing makes so much more sense. all the rush counselors and i were discussing this one night during rush. their parties are just so much more laid back. i mean, come on, primanti sandwiches and shooting pool. i think how they do it would be a million times less stressful on all sides. probably a lot less tears!

[carnation]

The "multiple bid" method can be hurtful to the guys. When my brother went to Mississippi State, the fraternities gathered all their rushees into the middle of the arena in the coliseum. The bids were handed out to them and the men stood there and decided which bid they wanted, then ran to that fraternity-- which would be up at the top of the coliseum, screaming their name.

I watched as my brother opened a huge fistful of bids and took his time choosing. I also observed a lot of men get only one bid and sometimes run to that group, other times drop their heads and leave the coliseum. Getting multiple bids is great for the popular rushees and heartbreaking for those who not only just get one (maybe one they never wanted) but also see or hear about other rushees getting a handful.

[sugar and spice]

But that can happen with the girls, too, only with the status of the group instead of the number of groups. If they're made to open their bids in front of everyone, they may get the popular house that everybody wants, or they may get a bid from a house that they hate, and still feel pretty awful.

I don't think that PNMs should EVER be made to open their bids in front of everybody else. If possible it should be done in private, or bids can be handed out in Rho Chi groups with the option to go open them alone. Accepting your bid is such a personal thing that I don't think any university should ever have an arrangement where you're supposed to open it in front of people, and fortunately I think most schools have moved away from that and tried to make the bid-receiving process as painless as possible -- having Rho Chi's call girls who weren't given a bid so they don't show up just to be embarassed in front of everyone, etc.

[DeltAlum]

This is kind of interesting because I don't really understand sorority rush these days.

My wife got three bids, and didn't accept any of them because of her mother -- but that's a different story. And thirty five years ago.

As I understand it, the term "rush" comes from years ago when fraternity and sorority members would stand at the train station, and when new freshmen got off the train, the Greeks would "rush" them to try to get as many as possible to join their organization.

I read that somewhere, but suppose it could be another of those famous urban legends.

I'll try to figure out where I read it.

[astroAPhi]

When I went through recruitment, I was completely stuck between the two sororities on my campus until Pref Night. After that I KNEW I belonged in Alpha Phi. The other sorority wanted me really bad though... they were very big on athletics and I'm naturally and athlete. I went home and PRAYED that I would get a bid from Alpha Phi and not the other one. I was contemplating turning down the bid from the other sorority and waiting a year until I could try to join Alpha Phi again. I also almost didnt pref because I thought getting a COB would give me a definite choice.

As we can see from my sig, I got my choice. But the next year I found out how bid matching actually worked, and I was horrified at how close I could have been to being in another sorority. I thought it had been that they went by my first choice as long as I was in that sorority's top 12 (that was quota my year). I didn't realize that where I was ranked was actually what mattered. I know that I got lucky and the other sorority thought I was such a sure thing that they put me lower on their list, and Alpha Phi put me as their number 1 or 2 because they knew I was teetering on the edge up until that night. I know suiciding is looked down upon, but I probably should have in that situation.

I don't want to drag this off topic, but what do you guys think about suiciding? I know a lot of Greeks look down on it, but I think that in some cases (like on my campus where you only have 3 choices and all 3 are radically different), it's acceptable, but I can understand how it's not ok, or just stupid to do (because you might not get that choice at all on a large campus).

[33girl]

Originally posted by astroAPhi
I don't want to drag this off topic, but what do you guys think about suiciding? I know a lot of Greeks look down on it, but I think that in some cases (like on my campus where you only have 3 choices and all 3 are radically different), it's acceptable, but I can understand how it's not ok, or just stupid to do (because you might not get that choice at all on a large campus).

Small campus, yes. Large campus, no.

[valpogal99]

Like some of you, I joined during during a COB/Informal recruitment process. I transfered to the school so I didn't have to go through the whole formal rush event since we had a deferred rush period. It was also a time when the sororities were getting ready to meet with National organizations and make the transition from local to National GLOs so almost all of the groups were doing informal recruitment. I have to admit, there are a lot of advantages to COB. One of the disadvantages though is that you get your bids, your friend(s) get hers, and you can pick and choose. While my decision would have been the same regardless, the fact that my friends received bids to the same group made it that much easier. On of my good friends had been torn between ADPi and another group. She accepted ADPi because two of her friends (myself and another girl) had decided we were accepting our bids there. In the end, she was thankful she made the decision she made but I wonder how it would have turned out during Formal recruitment. Personally, I liked seeing what bids I received. Then again, I knew from the beginning which group I wanted. I understand there would be problems with passing out multiple bids during formal recruitment but I also think it would get more girls involved in the process. It would be possible to handle the situation in such a way that quota and total could still be established in sororities while allowing girls to receive multiple bids. However, it would be a lot of work and fairly lenthy to pass out the bids for those systems to still work properly.

[pialpha92]

Originally posted by astroAPhi
I don't want to drag this off topic, but what do you guys think about suiciding? I know a lot of Greeks look down on it, but I think that in some cases (like on my campus where you only have 3 choices and all 3 are radically different), it's acceptable, but I can understand how it's not ok, or just stupid to do (because you might not get that choice at all on a large campus).

I personally think suiciding can be a good choice for some - regardless of campus size. If she is 'on the fence' or would be equally happy at several groups, by all means list more than one on the preference card. But if she KNOWS she will only be happy at XYZ then I think it is better to suicide - for everyone.

At my campus there were always PNM's, for all organizations (there are 6), who didn't get what they really wanted and it was obvious they weren't happy on bid day. Most end up depledging. So not only have they and the chapter gone through all the emotions associated with that - the PNM took a spot that someone else would have been thrilled with. I know when I was a Rho Chi I always advised that if they knew they would only be happy at XYZ then they shouldn't list ABC too. Of course that was against the Panhellenic who encouraged to list as many as they wanted to ensure more bids - but with only 2 pref parties I really don't think a PNM would really want her 4th choice just to get a bid anywhere. I also think the issues of our rush would have been better solved by groups not leading them on and inviting 70+ PNMs to pref when quota was 21, but I digress...

[shadokat]

I don't think PNMs REALLY KNOW where they want to go after 3 days of recruitment. But if women want to suicide, then they take their chances. Personally, if you have a lot of suiciding, you need to evaluate if dirty rush is going on.

[FuzzieAlum]

I think it depends when rush is held. If you have deferred rush, it's really not just three days for the majority of rushees - they've been forming opinions all year. Or if you have a very small Greek system, like two or three chapters.