OTW,
Wow, this situation just stinks all around. You've already done the right thing by contacting EBay's fraud unit, and by emailing her directly. Evem though she hasn't responded, you've done your duty by our sister to try and work things out privately. I'd inform IHQ simply because they need to be aware of what's happening. Don't feel guilty, either--you are doing what you need to do!
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