Look, I think you've taken my post in a far too negative light - I'm not inordinately pessimistic, but I was simply stating that by the very usage "love" and "Loooooove" (as you put it) are not the same thing, and two separate words would cast a different light on things.
Having strong, friendly feelings for someone, but nothing else, obviously means you're not "in love" with them - so why fuck around and say "well i DO love you, but i don't LOOOOOVE you"?
Because it's a cop-out, plain and simple - the goal is to use semantic differences to ease the impact of the words.
Now, let's just change the equation here - "in love" will be replaced with "A" and "friendly love" will be replaced with "B". I prefer to look at it like
JAM does - when you've found your ideal partner (for most people), you'll reach high levels of A and B. When you pick a roommate, you'll look for high levels of B. When you break up with a boyfriend, you've lost A, so you use B to make him feel better - EVEN THOUGH IT MIGHT BE THE TRUTH, that's still the point, right?
Think about it - why alter the very definition of the word? b/c it's beneficial to do so - but it doesn't make it any less of a cop-out
Quote:
Originally posted by AXOLiz
I had this same conversation with my best friend only two days ago. She's not sure if she's capable of really loving THE guy (who, for the record, doesn't exist yet, so this was a totally pointless argument). I told her that by looking at the strength of her friendships, you can tell she can love her future perfect man. She thinks I'm full of s--- because she didn't love her last boyfriend. So here's how I explained it:
You love your family, even if you don't like them.
There are friends that you like, but don't love.
You can both like and love your good friends, but you don't loooove them.
You can loooove a guy you're with without really liking him or loving him.
You can like and loooove a guy without loving him.
You can like and love a guy without loooving him.
In a strong relationship, you're doing all three.
Here's what all that BS means. The "loooove" part is when you're "in love" with someone, aka romantic, attraction-type feelings.
"Love," whether you have it with a friend or a romantic partner, that part of it's kind of the same across the board. I consider it the feelings of caring, respect, admiration....basically, all the aspects of a close friendship.
"Liking" someone involves being able to carry on a conversation and spend time with a person for more than 5 minutes without wanting to vomit or choke them or both.
When you're talking about most healthy long-term relationships, they contain all of those aspects to a degree. Obviously you liked the person, that's how you got together. You were in loooove with them when you found you were attracted to them and liked getting all over them. The love part grew as you became closer and wanted to spend time with that person whether they were putting out or not...basically like a close friendship. That friendship, respect and admiration "love" is enhanced by the romantic feelings and attraction which is what makes it special, but it doesn't make loving a significant other 180 degrees away from loving a friend.
Most of the couples I know that have a strong, lasting relationship are friends above all else. As I told my friend, if you would stay with someone even if their goodies fell off in the war, you know you love them. Doesn't mean you're not attracted to them or that you don't love the intimate part, but that person's a valuable part of your life regardless of the physical aspects...just like your close friends are. Unless they're "friends," but that's a whole different ballgame.
So a girl who says she loves someone but isn't in love with them has caring, friendly feelings towards the boy. However, once the initial excitement wore away (which it inevitably does) and the physical, romantic parts calmed down (ditto), she didn't love him enough as a friend to want to stay in the relationship. Once it got to the point where they had to actually talk and be good friends, she probably realized that she only really liked him when he was putting out all the time. 
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