Non-greek Friends - Page 2

MSKKG · #16 01-02-2003, 10:55 AM

It sounds like your friend has put up her defense mechanisms. Maybe she really wanted to rush but couldn't because of her grades. Since she still doesn't have the grades and sees how much you love being Greek, she has to act like the problem lies with you and your sorority membership.

I had a lot of non-Greek friends (and still do). The ones who are comfortable with their decision or circumstances have never shown any jealousy. Granted, all the activities seemed strange to them sometimes, but they were (and are) very supportive of my membership because they saw how happy I was.

Try to stay friends with her, but it might be hard if you've changed or grown and your friend hasn't.

AXO Sweetheart · #17 01-02-2003, 12:27 PM

After I first joined, I thought my friends started to treat me differently, so I flat out told them about it. I told them that I was the same person, etc.

I may have been so afraid of them thinking I changed that I imagined them treating me differently... But either way, I talked things out with them, and everything is fine now. I don't know if that would work for you.

I think the problem with your friend is jealousy. I agree with what MSKKG said above. She wanted to rush, but couldn't. She probably sees all this fun that you've found, and this bond of sisterhood, and feels jealous, but instead of admitting that she feels left out because she couldn't join, she's telling you that you've changed.

I really don't know what you could do about that, other than talk to her and try to work things out. But if she doesn't want to support you, and love you even through change... What kind of friend is she being anyway?

sigtau305 · #18 01-02-2003, 12:54 PM

I have a lot more non-greek friends and they don't have any problems with it. All I ask of them is to treat me just like one of the fellows.

chioprincess · #19 01-02-2003, 12:59 PM

I have a very similar situation. I rushed during spring and I had made a lot of non greek friends during my fall semester. When I told my friends I got a bid from a sorority and I was taking it, I was laughed at and told that I wans't going to have time for them or anything. Needless to say I bit my tongue and made sure I organized my life so that I could include all of friends at some time or another. It's very hard because some of my friends despise my sisters so I have to be careful and I can never talk about any issues or concerns I have about chi omega. It's been two years now and I have managed to include both sides of my life very well. I have a positon on exec and attend all the socials, parties meetings I have to with Chi O but I also make sure I go to my other friends parties, dinners etc. The funny thing is ZTA is starting on my campus and two of my non greek friends have been asked to start it, I think they are going to do it, and I am so happy for them. Life has very funny way of working out. Maybe now they wont make fun of me for "doing stupid sorority stuff". It's like that quote about not understanding something until you are one of them!

CarolinaDG · #20 01-02-2003, 02:16 PM

I think with all things it's a choice. I went through with two of my friends from freshman year... One went DG with me, and the other one got cut first round and ended up dropping out because DG was her first choice. At first I think there was a little bad blood, but we got over it. She's been up to the DG hall a couple of times to have lunch with me, and she thought about COBing Kappa for a while, but in the end, I think she's happy doing what she's doing outside of greek life, and I perfectly understand that. It does take work to see each other, mainly because I live on the hall and so most of the time if I want to go out or eat dinner or something, I'll grab the nearest sister around and go rather than calling up my friend, but that's the same with my greek friends as well... I have a ZTA friend who even though she just lives downstairs, I usually only see her by accident, because it's so easy not to call and arrange something. My non-greek friend and I still study together and call to gossip and stuff like that. I'm sure you'll be just fine, just remember that it may get tough at times.