Quote:
Originally posted by librasoul22
Okay...
One thing you need to realize is that when a guy thinks some random girl is hot, that does NOT mean he is thinking of leaving you to go be with her. He does NOT see long-term girlfriend potential in her, he just sees as nice looking chick. Do you not do the same when a good-looking guy walks by? Do you not sit around with your girlfriends to discuss hot guys? Why the double standard?
|
First, to address this point - I don't see a double standard, but that could be because I didn't directly include the girl version of that scenario. Yes, my female friends and I check out guys, however, if a guy I was dating was with me, I wouldn't be commenting on another guy's body. Maybe I'm being too careful, but I wouldn't want to be going, "Damn, that guy's hot!!!", in front of another guy. It just seems kind of rude to me, but I might be the only one who thinks so.
Obviously, just by checking someone out, you aren't going to run off and leave the person you're with. People are free to check out the opposite sex left and right (or the same sex if you're so inclined), but I wouldn't tell a guy I was dating how hot another guy was looking. For some reason, a lot of my friends have had a guy here or there who'd constantly comment to them about girls around them and they got upset. Maybe it doesn't bother some girls, but it can bug some. That's all I meant. If you're checking out a guy or a girl, the guy or girl you're with might not want to hear about it.
Quote:
Originally posted by librasoul22
I, too, find it seriously disturbing that women MUST have make-up for the purpose that was mentioned. I also think that rather than trying to JUSTIFY your self-esteem issues you should try to work them out and deal with them. And I don't mean the person that posted about this (but if the shoe fits..), I mean ANYONE who truly thinks they need enhancements or makeup to be beautiful.
Why do we base our self-worth on someone ELSE'S opinion? This does NOT make sense.
|
I agree with you. People shouldn't base their entire self-worth on another's opinion and they shouldn't justify their self-esteem issues. I'm the first to admit there's a lot of stuff I do because I have issues that are all in my head and they aren't anyone else's fault but my own. That's why I've been getting help for a while now - I was tired of placing blame and never finding a solution.
When people justify their behavior and place blame on everything but themselves, nothing ever changes. If you are upset because you're overweight, talk to your doctor, try diet and exercise, figure out why you're overweight (even if there's a chemical/hormonal/genetic reason) and do something about it, don't sue the fast food companies. If you are depressed because of what other people think about you, work through those issues so you don't focus on that anymore and boost your self-esteem.
However, it's generally difficult for people to admit they need help in these areas. There's still a fairly strong stigma placed on mental illness and seeking therapy. When you have these problems, you have to decide for yourself that you need to work through them even though people may think less of you (which isn't something you'll know until you tell them). Some people live their entire lives never wanting to admit they have a problem because they're still caught up in what other people think. I've seen it happen in my family many times.
And despite the fact that I think people need to work through their problems instead of just covering them up, I'll go back to my original point yet again - be gentle with other peoples' feelings and be tactful with even the most constructive criticism. You may be trying to help them, but you never know what they're trying to deal with already.
Hybrid Mode
