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  #11  
Old 12-12-2002, 01:46 PM
IvySpice IvySpice is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 589
Quote:
I see no reason the two oaths should ever conflict.
Well, they would conflict (for me) if my hypothetical spouse, who was otherwise wonderful and reasonable and fantastic, just had a real bug about my refusal to tell him this, to the point where it was getting in the way of the relationship.

We all have our pet peeves and things that really bother us...and if this was just driving my husband crazy, I'd tell him. I wouldn't be married to anybody who would publish the info on a web page, but I might well be married to somebody who unreasonably obsessed about something. It's certainly not something I would end, or even destabilize, a marriage over.

For me it's not as simple as, "I gave my word; I keep my word." When I make an ethical choice, I weigh the pros and cons. If I am sworn to secrecy by a friend who then tells me she's going to shoot the president, for example, I'm going to break my promise and tell the police, because he'll be hurt a lot more if I don't tell than she will be hurt if I do. I don't think that would make me an untrustworthy friend. This, on a smaller scale, is the same thing...I would break my word, even if it hurt someone, in order to prevent a greater hurt.

But as I say, it is a personal choice and I respect everyone's personal moral calculation about it.

Ivy
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