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Dear Santa,
You and I go WAY back and I've been doing YOUR job for far too long! Here is a list of my grievances!
1. Know one knows what a "Scrooge" you are! I'm out shopping for all the "kiddies" while you moan and groan about the cost of
energy. YOU like it cold, but would it kill ya to throw another log on the fire?
2. Does everyone think Christmas just magically appears? Sure, sure, it's easy to look all "jolly" when you sit on your behind in front of the fire while I'm out there stringing lights and going over the "Naughty and Nice" list. BTW, when was the last time YOU fed those pesky elves. Have you seen the cost of FOOD? I need a bigger budget!
3. Your cholesterol is sneaking up there! LAY OFF THE COOKIES AND MILK! Nibble on a few of those carrots left for Rudolph!
4. Admit it...sometimes you NEED to ask for directions!
5. When you and the crew have finished the holiday feast remember, those dishes won't get up and walk to the sink. I'm spending so much time in the mess hall, I've started daydreaming about "The Grinch"!
6. YOU TAKE ALL THE CREDIT! Now Nick, Chris, Sweetheart, you know I didn't marry you for fame and fortune, but it would be nice if someone thanked ME once in a while. Maybe a little photo or calendar layout. (At least Hallmark remembers me from time to time).
7. LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I need a vacation!
love,
Mrs. Clause
PS-Don't forget Billy or do I have to do everything myself!
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