NFL 2025–2026: The Road to February!

[Sciencewoman]

CG, Jheri Curl is not going to sign Dan Campbell as a paid endorser no matter how hard you try.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

CG, Jheri Curl is not going to sign Dan Campbell as a paid endorser no matter how hard you try.

He begged me for it, Sciencewoman. I warned him, “Daniel, your scalp’s still sizzling from the last masterpiece I gave you.” But he handed me the $5 bucks and said, “Make me shine.” So fine, I mixed up the curl chemical, started applying it, and he like… literally went “Sssssss!” like a frying pan. I told him, “Daniel, if it starts burning, dab it with a wet paper towel and pray. Okay? I’m seriously not issuing refunds on discount salon disasters. You ask for this, Mister.”

[Sciencewoman]

So apparently Dan Campbell can regenerate his hair after your initial "masterpiece"/shave/disaster, just like he's regenerated the Lions? OK, I'm willing to believe he has that power.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

So apparently Dan Campbell can regenerate his hair after your initial "masterpiece"/shave/disaster, just like he's regenerated the Lions? OK, I'm willing to believe he has that power.

Ok.. So….. I can explain.

See, that’s the advantage of having a chemistry background, Sciencewoman. When I realized I’d basically… like… totally butchered his scalp? I put my lab coat on, whipped up a topical follicle accelerator using caffeine, dog shampoo, Axe Body Spray, Gatorade Zero, and, (don’t judge me) half a Flintstone vitamin.

I shook it up in a jar, heated it up, prayed over it, and slapped it on. His hair grew back in 24 hours. I was like, “Oh. My. GAWD, Daniel! It actually worked!”

Only problem? Okay.. so it came back like.. this weird bleached blonde, Golden Retriever color? I mean, I don’t even know if it’s permanent? But anyway, I blew it out, dyed it black, and then he goes, “Lay it on me. Can you give me that 80s Michael Jackson look? I wanna look fly when we play your Vikings.” That’s when I added the curl chemical after I dyed it.

So I’m like, “Okaaay… I guess I can try.” And voila’. History was made.

$5 bucks, a minor chemical burn, and now he looks like he’s about to drop a funk album. Pure art.

[Sciencewoman]

Hmmm, the Nobel Prize for Chemistry was announced today. As much as I'd like to say "maybe next year" to you for your contribution to the science of hair restoration, I think you need to continue your research so that clients/patients don't look like a blonde Bozo the Clown or 1980s Michael Jackson after dropping $5 for your treatment.

I don't even want to think about what would have happened if you'd used a whole Flintstones vitamin!

(Just wait, Phrozen, the next magazine cover is going to showcase CGC winning the Nobel Prize for Chemistry after she claims the committee changed their selection, lol)

[Phrozen Sands]

LMAO! Gave dude a blonde blowout LOL!! Y’all are over here wildin. CG, it’s called curl activator not curl chemical LOL!

LOL@ Sciencewoman calling out CG. You’re right though, CGC been lying throughout this whole thread like she’s always done on these football threads, so let’s wait for the next lie. Have you noticed, the games the Vikings lose, she’ll say she wasn’t coaching that day. She was out. But when they win, she just happens to be coaching. Typical CGC LOL.

This thread is pure comedy gold LOL

[PrettyBoy]

Would somebody get CG a caffeine limit before she starts thanking herself in third person?