Y’all are bringing back bad relationship memories haha. I’ve never liked having “that talk” about challenges. Everybody knows there’s going to be challenges in relationships. They’re unavoidable. Both my ex wives told me I wasn’t present in the marriage. I ignored my first wife because I didn’t know WTF she was talking about. I was young, so my argument was what you mean I’m not present, I’m home? Then when she tried to explain to me what she meant, it went way over my head. I didn’t realize what it was until my second wife told me the same thing.
If two wives were telling me the same thing, then I figured I’m probably really the problem. But what threw me off was that I helped out around our apartment, I gave them both the attention they wanted, but it still wasn’t enough. I realize now, after my divorced, when I’ve dated, I began cutting things off by showing a lack of interest due to avoiding that conversation of the next step. My problem was, I’d really start having strong feelings for women I’d date, and then when the “challenges” conversation would come up, I’d try to ignore it and acknowledge that it really wasn’t much of a challenge just so we could be together, although in my mind, I knew shit was going to hit the fan once we got there.
This is why it’s something I’ll never do again. I don’t even date anymore. I stopped that too. Chick I met at the gym I was hanging out with didn’t really go south, it didn’t go anywhere at all, because I never really initiated anything with her. She’d call me, I’d answer. She’d text me, I’d answer. She told me to let her know when I want to get that cup of coffee, trying to put the ball in my court. I never let her know. I’ve grown to realize that I’m happier single and independent. Women hitting the ball in my court is the same as hitting a tennis ball, but there’s no one on the other side to hit it back.
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