What do you feel like saying, right now?

[33girl]

Our medical system is so fucking broken.

[lovespink88]

hey lol

been a minute

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

No, I don’t agree with it. I said elicit. You can come to a relationship secure with yourself and marry someone you’re secure with. But if you’re with somebody who has intimate feelings for someone else outside of the courtship or marriage, that person is responsible for bringing out an insecurity/insecurities that at one time were not there.

You should be 100% connected to your spouse spiritually, emotionally, and physically. If one of those is lacking, that relationship is going to be problematic, suffer, and fail. You should be lifting each other up daily, but if one of y’all still has feelings for somebody else, you can’t devote 100% of yourself to your partner, and you’ll begin to tear the other person down with insecurities you elicited and brought to table that at one time didn’t exist. It doesn’t mean you’re an insecure person. Understand?

FACTS!

If you heard through the grapevine that your ex died, would it bother you?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

FACTS!

If you heard through the grapevine that your ex died, would it bother you?

What is this, an interview? 😂

No. I’d just be thinking how unfortunate that it is, as I would be thinking with anybody I know personally. But I wouldn’t go to bed with it on my mind. Man, by the time I get to bed, at that point, I’m thinking about how I can get lucky that night. I wouldn’t be thinking about an ex, though.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

What is this, an interview? 😂

No. I’d just be thinking how unfortunate that it is, as I would be thinking with anybody I know personally. But I wouldn’t go to bed with it on my mind. Man, by the time I get to bed, at that point, I’m thinking about how I can get lucky that night. I wouldn’t be thinking about an ex, though.

Y’all I’m done Lol!!

[Zach]

With my first marriage, it was hard for me to completely move on for about two years. When I got married the second time, that also took about two years for me to completely move on. Within that two year frame, I was saving items, telling myself I’ll never throw away the gifts that were given to me, etc. after that two year mark, all that shit got thrown in the trash. I have what I call the two year depressing itch. After that’s gone, they became mistakes from the past. No feelings for either one of them. Now I look from the outside in and dread seeing couples doing the same dumb shit I did. I have no desire to ever do that again. It always starts off with the cute “I love you” and “I love you more” to being at each other’s throats. Crazy how most people don’t see that shit coming.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

So like AGDee, you think that’s an insecurity too? I’m not going to assume with you, because that doesn’t sound like something you’d agree with, PB. Just checking to make sure nobody hacked your account Lol.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

No, I don’t agree with it. I said elicit. You can come to a relationship secure with yourself and marry someone you’re secure with. But if you’re with somebody who has intimate feelings for someone else outside of the courtship or marriage, that person is responsible for bringing out an insecurity/insecurities that at one time were not there.

You should be 100% connected to your spouse spiritually, emotionally, and physically. If one of those is lacking, that relationship is going to be problematic, suffer, and fail. You should be lifting each other up daily, but if one of y’all still has feelings for somebody else, you can’t devote 100% of yourself to your partner, and you’ll begin to tear the other person down with insecurities you elicited and brought to table that at one time didn’t exist. It doesn’t mean you’re an insecure person. Understand?

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

What is this, an interview? 😂

No. I’d just be thinking how unfortunate that it is, as I would be thinking with anybody I know personally. But I wouldn’t go to bed with it on my mind. Man, by the time I get to bed, at that point, I’m thinking about how I can get lucky that night. I wouldn’t be thinking about an ex, though.

We are definitely not going to agree on this ever, but I think that if "love" goes away, it was never really there to begin with because love is forever. If you really care about someone deeply, that's not going to just go away. If you really gave someone a piece of your heart, then it's still there- locked away, not acted on, but it's there. It's part of your history, part of who you are because they were a significant part of your life. That doesn't just go away.

Love isn't just romantic intimate love. It's way deeper than that. I have capacity to love a lot of people- my kids, my friends, my family members, and people I've been in romantic relationships with. Phrozen- You said "take the ex-spouses and the family out of it" - how can you? That's love! What is the difference?

The only way it interfferes with other relationships is if you act on it, think about it, or seek it out. If it's locked away in that special part of your heart, it doesn't interfere. But it will ALWAYS be part of who you are. It changed you when you first started loving that person.

Commitment and relationships are a decision, not an emotion. You make a choice, as PB said- to make them first (after God in some cases). Some people make their children first and then their partner. You can devote 100% of yourself to making a relationship work if you choose to, even if you have loved other people before.

TKE Guy told me tonight that he stopped talking with someone else after we met and wants to focus on just me and hopes it leads to a relationship, for what it's worth.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AGDee

We are definitely not going to agree on this ever, but I think that if "love" goes away, it was never really there to begin with because love is forever. If you really care about someone deeply, that's not going to just go away. If you really gave someone a piece of your heart, then it's still there- locked away, not acted on, but it's there. It's part of your history, part of who you are because they were a significant part of your life. That doesn't just go away.

Love isn't just romantic intimate love. It's way deeper than that. I have capacity to love a lot of people- my kids, my friends, my family members, and people I've been in romantic relationships with. Phrozen- You said "take the ex-spouses and the family out of it" - how can you? That's love! What is the difference?

The only way it interfferes with other relationships is if you act on it, think about it, or seek it out. If it's locked away in that special part of your heart, it doesn't interfere. But it will ALWAYS be part of who you are. It changed you when you first started loving that person.

Commitment and relationships are a decision, not an emotion. You make a choice, as PB said- to make them first (after God in some cases). Some people make their children first and then their partner. You can devote 100% of yourself to making a relationship work if you choose to, even if you have loved other people before.

TKE Guy told me tonight that he stopped talking with someone else after we met and wants to focus on just me and hopes it leads to a relationship, for what it's worth.

Omg! Dee, this is such wonderful news! I guess this means that he never stopped loving you, too?

I agree with the other part of your post. My previous relationships were very short. Maybe that’s why my feelings went away pretty fast with them, lol. However, I know I couldn’t be with anyone if I still had feelings for another guy. I would try to get that person back in my life, if they were available.

This is my first true love now. I remember when Phrozen Sands asked me would I get married again if (God forbid) something happened to my hubby. My answer to him was no, I wouldn’t, not unless it was with him all over again. Like you said, when you really truly love someone and are in love with that person, it doesn’t go away. Plus, that guy would really have some big shoes to fill. No way could that void be filled. I would just stay alone and enjoy my kids. I totally hear ya!

I am so excited for you and TKE Guy. SO EXCITED! You have a really big heart, and you SO deserve someone whose heart is as big as yours.

[cheerfulgreek]

WIFLSRN: Is anyone other than me watching the debate tomorrow?

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Omg! Dee, this is such wonderful news! I guess this means that he never stopped loving you, too?

I agree with the other part of your post. My previous relationships were very short. Maybe that’s why my feelings went away pretty fast with them, lol. However, I know I couldn’t be with anyone if I still had feelings for another guy. I would try to get that person back in my life, if they were available.

This is my first true love now. I remember when Phrozen Sands asked me would I get married again if (God forbid) something happened to my hubby. My answer to him was no, I wouldn’t, not unless it was with him all over again. Like you said, when you really truly love someone and are in love with that person, it doesn’t go away. Plus, that guy would really have some big shoes to fill. No way could that void be filled. I would just stay alone and enjoy my kids. I totally hear ya!

I am so excited for you and TKE Guy. SO EXCITED! You have a really big heart, and you SO deserve someone whose heart is as big as yours.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

WIFLSRN: Is anyone other than me watching the debate tomorrow?

I'll be watching the debate after I get home from the Tigers game. It's family night at the ballpark at work so my son and his fiance are coming in.

A few weeks ago, my son asked if he needed to include a +1 for me for their wedding invitation list. I told him tonight I think it's a good possibility that I could have a +1 with me... lol.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I'll be watching the debate after I get home from the Tigers game. It's family night at the ballpark at work so my son and his fiance are coming in.

A few weeks ago, my son asked if he needed to include a +1 for me for their wedding invitation list. I told him tonight I think it's a good possibility that I could have a +1 with me... lol.

lol
Hilarious! How far is Lansing from where you two just recently met up? Is that like a halfway point?

Enjoy the Tigers game. My Vikings won their first season game.

[AGDee]

He's near Grand Rapids and I'm south of Detroit. Lansing is probably pretty close to equal distance, but Howell but might be closer to halfway. Since I'm going to be near there anyway, it made sense.

I was staying on Lake Michigan last weekend so I was a lot closer to him then.

Our LIONS won their first season game too!

Ugh- I just used a website to find the exact halfway point and it's Albion. Ick.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by Zach

With my first marriage, it was hard for me to completely move on for about two years. When I got married the second time, that also took about two years for me to completely move on. Within that two year frame, I was saving items, telling myself I’ll never throw away the gifts that were given to me, etc. after that two year mark, all that shit got thrown in the trash. I have what I call the two year depressing itch. After that’s gone, they became mistakes from the past. No feelings for either one of them. Now I look from the outside in and dread seeing couples doing the same dumb shit I did. I have no desire to ever do that again. It always starts off with the cute “I love you” and “I love you more” to being at each other’s throats. Crazy how most people don’t see that shit coming.

Dude, I hear you. It’s rough at first, then that shit goes away in a hurry. You still see ol’ girl from the gym you met?

Originally Posted by AGDee

TKE Guy told me tonight that he stopped talking with someone else after we met and wants to focus on just me and hopes it leads to a relationship, for what it's worth.

That’s wussup. I hope y’all work out. Tell him to join GreekChat so I can mess with him Lol. Tell him he only has two options for a username though. He can choose TKE Guy or TKE Dude, so we’ll know it’s him.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I agree with the other part of your post. My previous relationships were very short. Maybe that’s why my feelings went away pretty fast with them, lol. However, I know I couldn’t be with anyone if I still had feelings for another guy. I would try to get that person back in my life, if they were available.

Why were your relationships short, CG? Was it your wishy washiness? Lol. You ever see any of them out and about? Does the prom dude you dumped still come to your shop for his dog?

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

This is my first true love now. I remember when Phrozen Sands asked me would I get married again if (God forbid) something happened to my hubby. My answer to him was no, I wouldn’t, not unless it was with him all over again.

You wouldn’t have anybody to cook for you, that’s what it is Lol.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

That’s wussup. I hope y’all work out. Tell him to join GreekChat so I can mess with him Lol. Tell him he only has two options for a username though. He can choose TKE Guy or TKE Dude, so we’ll know it’s him. .

No way. I can’t talk about him if he joins here.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

WIFLSRN: Is anyone other than me watching the debate tomorrow?

Of course. You think I’d miss this beat down? Kamala Harris is about to fold his ass up.