Sorority SOS

[33girl]

Approximately how large is your chapter? Suggestions and advice that will work for a chapter of 40 will not necessarily work for a chapter of 200.

I wrote that, then I reread and saw this:

We have been on campus for decades and we are one of the larger chapters of our organization, so HQ doesn't even seem concerned.

If this is all they care about even with 15% of the group dropping that quickly, I’m going to be cynical and say that visit from nationals isn’t going to do squat.

Are the warring cliques by year (sophomores vs juniors), by major, partiers vs more quiet girls, live in vs live out, what? Also, keep in mind that except for the seniors, no one in your chapter has ever had a typical year of sorority experience. If you rushed via Zoom or similar it’s not the same as going through physical rush, it’s just not, and the “if I’d gotten in ABC my life would be so much better” probably ramp up times a thousand.

[cayk0]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Approximately how large is your chapter? Suggestions and advice that will work for a chapter of 40 will not necessarily work for a chapter of 200.

I wrote that, then I reread and saw this:



If this is all they care about even with 15% of the group dropping that quickly, I’m going to be cynical and say that visit from nationals isn’t going to do squat.

Are the warring cliques by year (sophomores vs juniors), by major, partiers vs more quiet girls, live in vs live out, what? Also, keep in mind that except for the seniors, no one in your chapter has ever had a typical year of sorority experience. If you rushed via Zoom or similar it’s not the same as going through physical rush, it’s just not, and the “if I’d gotten in ABC my life would be so much better” probably ramp up times a thousand.

There are ~120 of us! I hate to be a pessimist, but I think you might be right about that visit. I'm still going to sit down for a conversation with whoever visits, but I don't necessarily have high hopes.

To answer your question, the cliques aren't defined by any specific attributes, which almost makes it worse. One little group could have 3 juniors, 2 freshman, 2 house girls, 3 live-out girls, 4 partiers, 1 introvert, and hate another group with the exact same breakdown. I think this is what makes it so hard to fix our issue, because it isn't even 1 stereotype vs. another or 1 grade level vs. another, it's..everyone vs. everyone.

None of our member classes are all that close, largely in part due to the seemingly infinite internal conflicts. We can't sit down ~120 women (not girls, adult women) and tell them to ignore past conflicts and make up for so many reasons; first, that we can't even get 120 people in the same room (even for mandatory events with fines), but mainly because some of the issues between members are truly valid reasons to dislike each other. Obviously the cattiness and bullying has to stop, but each member is well within their rights to not want to even be around someone who truly upset them.

I worry about recruitment, because having such a disagreeable group doing the recruiting makes it very difficult to recruit a more agreeable or–again, at the bare minimum; cordial–group, and we really need this cycle to end now.

Thanks for reading, and again, your feedback is so appreciated. I hope we can bounce back.

[33girl]

Maybe you should just go old school and have Celebrity Death Match for some of the warring members. You could charge the audience and give the $ to your philanthropy!

I kid, I kid.

It sounds like because of the pandemic, a lot of the group’s agency was taken away as to regards the new members who were chosen. Plus people didn’t hang out like normally and wounds were allowed to fester and fester more. Plus communication I’m sure was hard, as screen to screen isn’t for everyone. Auntie Rona dropped a big ball of crud in the middle of your house and now you’re left to clean it up.

Do you have rush coming up in the spring? If so, try getting everyone together and making a wish list of what you want in new members. Women don’t want to show up because the ho that took their man is the assistant rush chair? Have a box at the house where people can write down 3 attributes they want in a new member. Putting the focus on moving forward might help people to open up about the present issues that are going on because it’s not the designated topic.

[KD4Me]

I suggest that you talk to your advisors about your concerns. They are there to help your chapter, and have a vested interest in your chapter's success! Hopefully they are in regular contact with leadership in your national organization who can assist. It can be helpful for rank and file chapter members to share their experiences.

[cayk0]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Maybe you should just go old school and have Celebrity Death Match for some of the warring members. You could charge the audience and give the $ to your philanthropy!

I kid, I kid.

It sounds like because of the pandemic, a lot of the group’s agency was taken away as to regards the new members who were chosen. Plus people didn’t hang out like normally and wounds were allowed to fester and fester more. Plus communication I’m sure was hard, as screen to screen isn’t for everyone. Auntie Rona dropped a big ball of crud in the middle of your house and now you’re left to clean it up.

Do you have rush coming up in the spring? If so, try getting everyone together and making a wish list of what you want in new members. Women don’t want to show up because the ho that took their man is the assistant rush chair? Have a box at the house where people can write down 3 attributes they want in a new member. Putting the focus on moving forward might help people to open up about the present issues that are going on because it’s not the designated topic.

HA! Now we're getting somewhere.

I think you nailed it. The pandemic was not exactly kind to anyone, and definitely not college students, so I think it sorta rocked our world a little bit and amplified existing issues in relationships. I really love that 'wishlist' idea and I think it could be really good for us. We do not have formal recruitment upcoming until the fall (I don't even think we're COBing in the spring!) but I'm going to hang onto that idea and either suggest it to our next recruitment chair or run myself! () Thank you so much for your input!!!