Recommendation Letters

[shadokat]

I honestly don't have much of an opinion on this one. I just posted it because I saw it. DPhiE has never had much of a recommendation letter writing thing, and I think I've done maybe 3 in my life.

Here's my question, and again, excuse my ignorance, but what if PNMs got recommendations from someone like say a teacher, a clergy person, a boss at a job or something like that instead of having a member write one? Or is that a bad idea?

[Cookiez17]

Originally Posted by shadokat

I honestly don't have much of an opinion on this one. I just posted it because I saw it. DPhiE has never had much of a recommendation letter writing thing, and I think I've done maybe 3 in my life.

Here's my question, and again, excuse my ignorance, but what if PNMs got recommendations from someone like say a teacher, a clergy person, a boss at a job or something like that instead of having a member write one? Or is that a bad idea?

If this was the change they made, I'd actually be okay with it. There are people who don't know alumni or live where there aren't near alumni NPC, etc. If they got a glowing letter from a boss (or not) and the chapter would see that, it could help.

[carnation]

Why it is a bad idea: a minister or a neighbor or whatever may have only seen the good side of a PNM and have no idea what a bully/horrible jerk/etc. that she is. At least if a member knows, she's a stakeholder who doesn't want a horrible person in her letters, whereas it's no sweat off a non-member's back.

Do I sound jaded from over 40 years of this? Have I seen everything? Yes and yes.

[shadokat]

You sound like someone with valid opinions

I know that my friend's daughter who rushed at Alabama 2 years ago had a HELL of a time getting recs for all of the sororities, and the ones she didn't have cut her immediately. She went through Zoom Recruitment, so didn't meet anyone in person until bid day. I thought it was sort of shitty to cut someone simply because they don't know someone in an organization.

Originally Posted by carnation

Why it is a bad idea: a minister or a neighbor or whatever may have only seen the good side of a PNM and have no idea what a bully/horrible jerk/etc. that she is. At least if a member knows, she's a stakeholder who doesn't want a horrible person in her letters, whereas it's no sweat off a non-member's back.

Do I sound jaded from over 40 years of this? Have I seen everything? Yes and yes.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by shadokat

You sound like someone with valid opinions

I know that my friend's daughter who rushed at Alabama 2 years ago had a HELL of a time getting recs for all of the sororities, and the ones she didn't have cut her immediately. She went through Zoom Recruitment, so didn't meet anyone in person until bid day. I thought it was sort of shitty to cut someone simply because they don't know someone in an organization.

This is where you network. Did you know alums in the other groups that could have done it for her based on your rec? Did she ask everyone who did a rec if they knew people in the other groups? Did she contact the nearest alum PH? Or the national offices of the other groups? Did she search FB for rec writing groups? (they are out there because I belong to one and I'm the only Alabama person on it). Sure, you'll end up missing out on some, but it should not be a lot.

[shadokat]

I found four recs for her. I think she was missing three total.

My point here is that you're asking if she jumped through 7,000 hoops for these recommendations from people who don't even know her! What is the value in that? I would think a recommendation from a boss, teacher or clergy person would be much more valuable in terms of a real recommendation than a stranger. Maybe I just am misunderstanding this whole thing.

Originally Posted by Titchou

This is where you network. Did you know alums in the other groups that could have done it for her based on your rec? Did she ask everyone who did a rec if they knew people in the other groups? Did she contact the nearest alum PH? Or the national offices of the other groups? Did she search FB for rec writing groups? (they are out there because I belong to one and I'm the only Alabama person on it). Sure, you'll end up missing out on some, but it should not be a lot.

[carnation]

In my experience, alums who don't know a PNM will often ask around about her.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by shadokat

I found four recs for her. I think she was missing three total.

My point here is that you're asking if she jumped through 7,000 hoops for these recommendations from people who don't even know her! What is the value in that? I would think a recommendation from a boss, teacher or clergy person would be much more valuable in terms of a real recommendation than a stranger. Maybe I just am misunderstanding this whole thing.

Well, 3 out of 18 isn't bad...and she would more than that release her anyway just to get to the number of parties that day. So, bravo for her! As for the rest of your statement, are you saying that "friend of the family" isn't good enough? Sweetie, I write a ton of recs based on the recommendation of friends. In fact, that's even a category on our rec form!

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by shadokat

I honestly don't have much of an opinion on this one. I just posted it because I saw it. DPhiE has never had much of a recommendation letter writing thing, and I think I've done maybe 3 in my life.

Here's my question, and again, excuse my ignorance, but what if PNMs got recommendations from someone like say a teacher, a clergy person, a boss at a job or something like that instead of having a member write one? Or is that a bad idea?

Some of the sororities are now accepting this kind of recommendation. A few others have a form for the PNM to introduce herself to the chapter. As to whether this is a good idea? Time will tell.