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  #1  
Old 08-19-2020, 02:56 PM
AnchorAlumna AnchorAlumna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shadokat View Post
As a matter of fact, the two groups she had at the end, she didn't have recs for, and the organization she is now a new member of, she didn't have a rec for them.
You forget that we are still seeking recs for girls who don't have them! Plenty of girls pledge a sorority for which they think they don't have a rec, but they do.

By the way, this is how we Southerners find recs for people we don't know!
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1677498515738768
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  #2  
Old 08-19-2020, 05:40 PM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna View Post
You forget that we are still seeking recs for girls who don't have them! Plenty of girls pledge a sorority for which they think they don't have a rec, but they do.
But again, the question is: then what's the point?

If the PNM didn't get a rec herself and still received a bid - and she had an "unknown" rec written for her - it seems like the checking of a checkbox KiteChick described above.

Does that really add any value, or is it a simple "The chapter likes this girl, a rec is required, so here it is!"?
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  #3  
Old 08-19-2020, 09:11 PM
AnchorAlumna AnchorAlumna is offline
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It's not an unknown. It's a rec by someone, usually from her hometown or with a connection there, who will check her out with, say, a team coach, a friend who goes to church or dance class with her, a teacher at her school.
Check that video. It's humorous, it's exactly how we do it!
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  #4  
Old 08-20-2020, 01:32 AM
robinseggblue robinseggblue is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna View Post
It's not an unknown. It's a rec by someone, usually from her hometown or with a connection there, who will check her out with, say, a team coach, a friend who goes to church or dance class with her, a teacher at her school.
Check that video. It's humorous, it's exactly how we do it!
The Southern grandma video was pretty funny!

1) This is definitely possible in a smaller town, but harder in a larger city. Sure, this way could dig up more dirt for girls from smaller towns/cities, but not every community is tight-knit enough for this to be feasible without a ton of digging.

I’m Jewish, and I could probably find out something about a PNM in my city using “Jewish geography,” but I could see it taking a lot of legwork depending on what denomination & congregation the PNM is part of. And of course, I’d be helped by the fact that Jews are a much smaller group compared to other cultural or religious groups. Not all Christians know each other. Not all people of the same culture know each other. Maybe the alum chapter in my city simply doesn’t have a connection to the PNM’s teacher’s sister-in-law’s realtor (random example).

Is there any issue in anyone’s mind that this type of process would likely be more feasible in smaller towns and cities? Or might be less feasible for PNMs who might not be part of tight-knit communities for whatever reason or may have moved around a number of times?

And at what point is the cost of effort expended too much compared to the bits of information gleaned? Is there such a point or is it always worth it?

Is there a point at which the alumnae may cold call people from organizations on the PNM’s resume?

I haven’t been personally involved in this type of effort, since I’ve only written recs when contacted or connected with a PNM through someone. So I’m honestly wondering.

2) If you’re already going to someone else to discuss details to put in a recommendation, why not cut out the middle man (sorority alumna) and simply get the recommendation from the source(s)? The PNM can coordinate that.

It’s even possible for the sorority to come up with some sort of standardized letter of recommendation. This looks more like a specific questionnaire within the rec form that asks for quantitative evaluation of specific attributes of the PNM. For example: “Compared to their peers what %ile would you rank this student on leadership, responsibility, special talents, etc.”

I know many are opposed to the suggestion that a non-alumna may be fit to write a sorority rec, but I honestly don’t see an advantage in forcing an alumna rec for someone who doesn’t have alumnae connections if the alumna asks their teacher, coach, etc. That only reinforces to me that these are reliable people to get this info from, so why not make the process easier on the PNM without connections (and the alumnae who have to ask around) by just getting the letters directly from those people?

Even if this suggestion were taken, it wouldn’t have to be an all or nothing. An alumna could compile the info with regard to any secret sorority-specific info. The alumna would have the contact info of the recommender so that they could easily call them for a chat.

Last edited by robinseggblue; 08-20-2020 at 01:41 AM.
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  #5  
Old 08-20-2020, 10:05 AM
Cheerio Cheerio is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna View Post
You forget that we are still seeking recs for girls who don't have them! Plenty of girls pledge a sorority for which they think they don't have a rec, but they do.

By the way, this is how we Southerners find recs for people we don't know!
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1677498515738768
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna View Post
It's not an unknown. It's a rec by someone, usually from her hometown or with a connection there, who will check her out with, say, a team coach, a friend who goes to church or dance class with her, a teacher at her school.
Check that video. It's humorous, it's exactly how we do it!
At 2min 51 seconds in the video: Is SuperGrandma wearing a Zeta Tau Alpha badge as a ring?
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  #6  
Old 08-20-2020, 12:13 PM
robinseggblue robinseggblue is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheerio View Post
At 2min 51 seconds in the video: Is SuperGrandma wearing a Zeta Tau Alpha badge as a ring?
To me it looks like a round clear stone in a bezel setting surrounded by a halo and with a gap between the halo and the centerstone.
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  #7  
Old 08-20-2020, 02:11 PM
shadokat shadokat is offline
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Video is funny!

Her mother and I got her 8 of 17 recs for the houses. If they found something else, I guess all the better, but it sort of defeats the purpose of the rec if you ask me. I'll stand by my "recs = exclusivity" rant for awhile. But I'm just a northeast bitch, bless my heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna View Post
You forget that we are still seeking recs for girls who don't have them! Plenty of girls pledge a sorority for which they think they don't have a rec, but they do.

By the way, this is how we Southerners find recs for people we don't know!
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1677498515738768
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  #8  
Old 08-20-2020, 05:16 PM
robinseggblue robinseggblue is offline
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Quote:
I got an email from [Alpha Phi] nationals this year stating that recs cannot be considered mandatory and rec status cannot be used against a PNM.
Saw this posted on Reddit by someone who self-identifies as an Alpha Phi. I understand if it's too private to confirm since it does fall under membership selection, but I would be interested to know if this is true.

It sounds like a good change for inclusivity, but I'm also a northeast bitch sitting with shadokat.
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