Quote:
Originally Posted by IndianaSigKap
This is exactly what happens. A PNM ranks the stereotypical "top" 16 chapters, gets them back and does the same thing each round until preference when she receives no invitations back. This happened to a girl in my dorm when I went through. She ended up picking up an informal bid about two weeks after bid day to a very solid middle chapter she ranked low after first invitational. A girl from her hometown helped her out when a pledge dropped out due to finances and made a last minute spot available.
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I'm really struggling with the desire to post something on the FB page regarding this, at least, something touching on this. There are several parents posting about their daughters going single intentional preference after preference night. And they are using phrases like "my daughter just didn't feel a connection at the other houses," or "she got cut from all her top choices." Well, that means that if they don't get a bid, it's because they completely discounted the chapters that DID ask them back.
I'm speaking from experience, because last year my dd was cut from all but 2 chapters after 2nd round. She was devastated and dropped. And it wasn't that she wasn't willing to consider the 2 chapters, it's really that after being told that all but 20 chapters didn't want her (including 2 legacies), it was just too much for her to pull herself together and go to those two chapters for sisterhood round. I supported her decision.
The next week, she was offered two snap bids, one from each chapter that had originally invited her back for sisterhood rounds. She and I talked about it quite a bit. There was one chapter that throughout the process she never felt connected to, although she thought the women were nice enough. The other one, she realized, she really liked the women and the "atmosphere" of the group. But they were the one unhoused chapter at the time. At to be fair, I think the majority of the PNMs see themselves living in a sorority house as part of their sorority experience. I think that's reasonable, especially given that's the norm at IU. However, once she had time to reflect and think about why she had gone through rush in the first place, she decided to give this chapter a chance. She accepted her bid and was able to participate in bid night.
All this to say, I think a lot of parents of current PNMs might have an unrealistic expectation of what their daughters' choices are actually going to be if they dropped, or SIPed because they didn't like their invites. In all honesty, the chapters that offer snap bids or participate in informal spring recruitment, are most likely going to be the chapters that they "didn't feel a connection to." I mean seriously, if you low ball the numbers, you are looking at about 1100 spots available (rough estimate based on 50 PNMs in a pledge class for 22 chapters). I saw somewhere that 1800 women rushed this year? So how will there be 2-3 chapters that don't make quota?
I've heard people refer to some of these chapters as "being willing to take anyone." First of all, not true. Secondly, if the game being played is "I want to be in an
exclusive chapter," then sadly, someone has to be on the losing end of that. My daughter likes the idea of how accepting her sisters of all women who come through the doors. And that's not to put down ANY of the other chapters. They are not responsible for women choosing to drop if they can't make it a certain chapter. But when it comes down to it, the price of exclusivity is sometimes you're the one excluded, and that never feels good.
I just hope that the PNMs that don't find a home during formal rush give some of the other often overlooked chapters a chance. There are some AMAZING women doing AMAZING things there.
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