Helicopters, Snowplows and Recruitment

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by APhi2KD

I disagree. Moms in trees aside, sorority recruitment is one instance where normal rules don’t apply. There are an insane number of subtle dos and don’ts that the uninformed are unaware of. And if (in many cases) your daughter has ONE good shot at this stressful process, the more guidance you can provide, the better.

It’s not like it was in my day where I walked in completely naive and had my happy ending. Will your baby survive regardless of the outcome? Yes. But we all know it’s an emotionally-charged and painful process for both parents and daughters, so why not help your kiddo even the field as much as possible?

I guess we will have to disagree. Your line of thinking seems to be predicated on "it's better to be Greek than not". Please correct me if I'm wrong. From that line, I understand. But I don't believe Greek life is for everyone, not even our daughters. From my perspective, only she gets to play.

But I also recognize I would not go Greek today, with the structure and (what I consider) BS of the system. Even at my chapter, which has changed from the 20-25 women of my time into a structured, rules-bound, 100-member group.

[APhi2KD]

Originally Posted by DGTess

Your line of thinking seems to be predicated on "it's better to be Greek than not". Please correct me if I'm wrong.

I never stated Greek was better. But we’re discussing how deeply parents get involved in the recruitment process, so I naturally assumed the default was a daughter who wished to enter Greek life. Did I miss something?

[Theta1234]

Ok, here’s some more food for fodder. At incredibly competitive Southern schools—and some in the Midwest and on the coasts as well, it’s well, competitive.

The reality is all of those 1,500 plus girls going through are probably very similar—highly accomplished, smart, etc. Some moms text their friends to make sure their daughters know about lil’ Poundcake (man, I’m loving this name) coming through and asks them to make sure the PNM gets a nice welcome—aka, pass her name and pictures around to your friends to help increase recognition. Some moms will bypass their friends and directly text the daughters. Heli, snowplow or acceptable?

When it comes to recs, do you have your whole crew write recs and letters of support or do you just go with one—or perhaps two for good measure? Is it the person who know lil’ Poundcake the most or the person who has the greatest title/most influence in the group?

Where are the lines? Is the line that this is initiated by the parents and not the girls? What if the PNM asks mom for help?

On the flip side, I’ve also seen it where a chapter really likes a girl and they assume she likes them, but she hasn’t really said the words, so an advisor will call the rec writer who will call the mom and have her call her daughter to “coach” her on what to say during the next round to let the girls know that she really wants to be an XYZ. This may just be a Southern thing, but recruitment is so much more than filling out a form and showing up to recruitment week with a big smile and a stunning personality. Honestly, I’m not sure I could have survived the current recruitment culture. My “poor” momma went to a small liberal arts school in the Midwest that did not have Greek life. Much of it just boggles her mind, but she does love hearing a good story so she loves us to talk
about it...