Thinking about dropping, not sure what to do

33girl · #1 10-26-2018, 06:22 PM

Has your chapter received its charter? Is the national organization doing anything to remedy the problems? There’s always some amount of attrition with colonies, because it’s always more work than people think it will be, but losing almost 2/3 of the sorority and having less than half of the girls who are left be participatory is not normal. If they aren’t helping your chapter out, and telling you things like you have to pay even if you quit, then quite frankly staying in for doors it might open in the future is probably not worth it.

NoDak · #2 10-26-2018, 06:51 PM

Your story is not a unique one. The feelings of not feeling included or that you have a place in a chapter is a common one. It is difficult with new chapters because a group of women were brought together without getting to know each other beforehand. Even so. I am sorry that you are struggling. It breaks my heart to hear these stories.

I would suggest that you have a heart to heart with the President. She may have some ideas for you of who to hang out with more or a leadership role that you could own and probably thrive at. Chances are your President has heard from other women who feel left out. You all could join forces!

As an alumna, my experience in Greek Life grew exponentially after graduation and I was able to find and hang out with other alumnae from my organization. The alumnae experience is less stress and so much easier on your debit card. Sometimes it is worth it to get to your alumna status so you can fully utilize the national network that you have. I understand that the thought of roughing it out till graduation can seem daunting but something to think about.

Good Luck

KD4Me · #3 10-26-2018, 07:30 PM

Are you seeking treatment for your anxiety? It sounds like that is a big part of your problem. If the girls in your sorority were hanging out with you, just to be nice, doesn't that mean they are...nice?

I would urge you not to make any rash decisions in your current mindset. You feel like everything is falling apart, which is a very general statement about EVERYTHING in your life. This is not the time to make a decision that you cannot reverse.

I encourage you to check out the counseling center on campus to help you work through some of the things that you are going through. Things will get better.

mangokitty · #4 10-26-2018, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KD4Me

Are you seeking treatment for your anxiety? It sounds like that is a big part of your problem. If the girls in your sorority were hanging out with you, just to be nice, doesn't that mean they are...nice?

I would urge you not to make any rash decisions in your current mindset. You feel like everything is falling apart, which is a very general statement about EVERYTHING in your life. This is not the time to make a decision that you cannot reverse.

I encourage you to check out the counseling center on campus to help you work through some of the things that you are going through. Things will get better.

I am receiving treatment. I also regularly go to individual + group counseling at my school. I'm really trying to improve. It's just not working very well for me sadly. I never said the girls weren't nice. They're very nice. The thing is that I had reached out to the president concerning my anxiety and I'm pretty sure she sent out some kind of mass text because a ton of girls texted me immediately to hang out. And it was very nice! It's just that I've reached out to them since and no one really seems interested in hanging out again, and none of them reach out to me either. So it kinda just feels like it was a pity thing, and they don't really want to be friends with me. which i understand. I'm struggling mentally and I'm probably not that fun to hang out with because my anxiety keeps me on edge all the time. I can't relax and constantly worried I'm going to say something wrong.

33girl · #5 10-27-2018, 01:14 AM

Is your LC live in or does she just come for meetings? Tell her in no uncertain terms that the cliques and apathy are destroying the sorority, and that you joined looking for a support system and got the exact opposite. If things keep going the way they are, your question might be moot as there will be no chapter left to drop out of.

mangokitty · #6 10-26-2018, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoDak

Your story is not a unique one. The feelings of not feeling included or that you have a place in a chapter is a common one. It is difficult with new chapters because a group of women were brought together without getting to know each other beforehand. Even so. I am sorry that you are struggling. It breaks my heart to hear these stories.

I would suggest that you have a heart to heart with the President. She may have some ideas for you of who to hang out with more or a leadership role that you could own and probably thrive at. Chances are your President has heard from other women who feel left out. You all could join forces!

As an alumna, my experience in Greek Life grew exponentially after graduation and I was able to find and hang out with other alumnae from my organization. The alumnae experience is less stress and so much easier on your debit card. Sometimes it is worth it to get to your alumna status so you can fully utilize the national network that you have. I understand that the thought of roughing it out till graduation can seem daunting but something to think about.

Good Luck

Thank you, I appreciate your thoughts & input!

mangokitty · #7 10-26-2018, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Has your chapter received its charter? Is the national organization doing anything to remedy the problems? There’s always some amount of attrition with colonies, because it’s always more work than people think it will be, but losing almost 2/3 of the sorority and having less than half of the girls who are left be participatory is not normal. If they aren’t helping your chapter out, and telling you things like you have to pay even if you quit, then quite frankly staying in for doors it might open in the future is probably not worth it.

Yes we have our charter. To be honest, I'm not sure if nationals is doing anything about it. I'm not an officer or anything so I haven't heard much on the inside I guess. But so far no one has addressed the fact that members are dropping like flies. We do have a leadership consultant and some other alumnae members who help out though and make sure chapter and ritual goes correctly. I'm not sure if they've discussed it with the president/officers though.