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Reminder: you went through FR, only met a few of the members in the chapters for a very brief time at the open house rounds. You didn't get past that first round, where you start to meet more members and engage in more in depth conversations. You may also be basing your opinion on what you've seen in your time on campus. That's human nature.
It's been written here before: the actives are skilled at making conversation and making everyone feel welcome, as well as making themselves desirable. It's a fact. So basing your opinion on "clicking" isn't particularly helpful, as you truly don't have enough on which to base any sort of opinion. Unless, of course, you've been spending a lot of time at any chapter as an invited guest, or have good friends who are already members (which, I gather, is not the case; you haven't mentioned any of those connections).
My greatest concern, after reading the multiple threads you've started, is that you're looking outward for what may be missing on the inside. One of my panhellenic sisters already addressed this in another thread. Instead of focusing on "what do they want and how can I make myself into that?" your energies would be better focused on yourself. There's nothing more attractive than a confident, happy person. I get the depression, you've referenced that several times. Sincerely hope you have that well in hand.
Good luck to you. I mean it!
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