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She's talking about Ole Miss, just to be clear. The single most brutal recruitment in the US, maybe except for Indiana (just because of the bed rush quota). She's very lucky to get a bid, and from there it's just determining whether she wants to be greek or not.
The chapters that she liked probably had double quota (at least) of in-house legacies and close high school friends going through recruitment. Those chapters weren't really available to anybody without serious connections, and that's nothing on your daughter. That's just life there.
What that does mean though is she's landed in a pledge class full of girls similar to her, non-connected PNMs but who otherwise probably are very similar. The chapters at Ole Miss are ridiculously strong compared to just about any school, and the thought that she's in a sorority of 400+ girls and can't find anyone to connect with I think says more about her perceptions of the chapter's strength in a hierarchy than it does with the actual girls in the chapter.
As for the video you're talking about, that was discussed ad-nauseam
elsewhere and the chapter was instructed to not cheer until every name was read because there were so many names. You can see girls trying to keep in their cheers the whole time. They exploded after the fact. They probably shouldn't have put it public because it's an easy thing to misunderstand.
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