How Not To Be a New Member

[KSUViolet06]

This is good stuff.

However, I would suggest that if you are still hanging on to your recruitment result from college to the point of having it affect other areas of your life and your self-concept, you need to seek therapy.

[carnation]

It may be primarily a Southern thing, but I've heard many women who've been alums for a long time express regrets about their membership. They talk about how their lives would have been different had they been bid to other groups and in some cases, they're probably right. Glass ceiling and all that.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by carnation

It may be primarily a Southern thing, but I've heard many women who've been alums for a long time express regrets about their membership. They talk about how their lives would have been different had they been bid to other groups and in some cases, they're probably right. Glass ceiling and all that.

I think it matters more depending on where you live.

My sorority sister is a Texas transplant from IL.

She said even in adulthood, there is a level of clique-y that exists there based on what sorority you are in.

Ex: She is part of Junior League in her city and women are very "you can't sit with us" at JL events because this table is only for (example) Thetas.

She is not the only Sigma in her League so it is not a huge deal for her, but it is for those who are new to the area, and part of a sorority that does not have representation in that region. Ex: She made friends with a lady who is ASA and has had a hard time getting to know people because everyone has sisters they tend to stick to.

Sidetone: Heaven forbid you are not Greek AT ALL in said League. It's almost unheard of.

[JonInKC]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Ex: She is part of Junior League in her city and women are very "you can't sit with us" at JL events because this table is only for (example) Thetas.

Wow. She pays dues to the same organization they're in and can't sit at their table. It's 8th grade all over again.

She must really like that organization because I would be like Cartman. "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home."

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by carnation

It may be primarily a Southern thing, but I've heard many women who've been alums for a long time express regrets about their membership. They talk about how their lives would have been different had they been bid to other groups and in some cases, they're probably right. Glass ceiling and all that.

Double posting but I have actually heard of people saying that they would have married "better" (ex: a doctor, lawyer, etc.) if they had been a _______.

[carnation]

Yes, that's one thing I hear a lot from women of all ages. That and what you said about post-college clubs could be a way that one could be continually reminded of her so-called status even after college. I can picture that happening in certain towns.

[PhilTau]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Double posting but I have actually heard of people saying that they would have married "better" (ex: a doctor, lawyer, etc.) if they had been a _______.

Saw this on the recent bump. It made me grin. People can really be their own worst critic.

Long ago I attended law school at SMU, which is on SMU's main campus. As most of you know, Greek life at SMU has always been an important part of that university's social life. While there, a fairly large percentage of law students (both men and women) lived in a law school dormitory on the law quad, where they mixed regularly with the undergraduates. Though most of the male law students at that time were the right age for the undergraduate women, for some reason, there was very little dating among the law school students and sorority women at SMU. We pretty much stayed to ourselves, but would have very much liked to have had at least some interaction with those groups. Anyway, I can say with 100 percent certainty that no one at SMU's law school had any interest in any perceived pecking order of SMU's sororities or Greek life. The reality is that we were just too busy to care.