Large amount of unexpected cuts

[Titchou]

She is eligible for snap bids no matter where in the process she drops out. What would matter is whether she is on a group's radar and what their procedures are for extending one (MS rules for their group so can't say what that might be).

[QueenD]

Originally Posted by carnation

ASTAlum, it seems that she thought that the other chapters didn't know she was an in-house legacy to a chapter. Knowing this campus (5 sororities, moderate Greek presence) I--and many other local Greeks who knew her--were positive she would've had a fuller experience had they not known. As a matter of fact, her sister and cousin were the main focus of conversation in every house she walked into.

This girl had all that they wanted in a PNM--top grades and activities, attractiveness, and a very good rep. This campus is not UGa where 95% of the PNMs have it all.

This is the exact opposite of what I meant. I meant that you have no idea whether this young woman's legacy status has impacted her invitations. You aren't sitting in their membership selection sessions. It might make you and your niece feel better to tell yourselves she'd have more houses still on her list if it wasn't know she is a legacy, but ultimately you don't know if this is the case.

[carnation]

I do know what happened with her with at least 2 of the sororities because members angrily shared. They had wanted her but other members insisted with the limited amount of invitations they had, they didn't need to be "wasting" them on in-house legacies. I also know from a member of one group there that her Hispanic sister and her Asian cousin were cut the year before because some members argued that "they're black and they wouldn't fit in this chapter". The Asian cousin was my own Southeast Asian daughter. Several members were so upset that they called us because they wanted her but I told them that the girls would've had a bad time anyway in a chapter where some of the sisters rejected them because of skin color. I did ask the girls to share it with their higher-ups.

There is a myth that no members share membership selection information at all; that we are all close-lipped. On the contrary, I have heard what has gone on in several membership selection sessions of other sororities, usually because one or more members is outraged at what went down.

[QueenD]

Originally Posted by carnation

I do know what happened with her with at least 2 of the sororities because members angrily shared. They had wanted her but other members insisted with the limited amount of invitations they had, they didn't need to be "wasting" them on in-house legacies. I also know from a member of one group there that her Hispanic sister and her Asian cousin were cut the year before because some members argued that "they're black and they wouldn't fit in this chapter". The Asian cousin was my own Southeast Asian daughter. Several members were so upset that they called us because they wanted her but I told them that the girls would've had a bad time anyway in a chapter where some of the sisters rejected them because of skin color. I did ask the girls to share it with their higher-ups.

There is a myth that no members share membership selection information at all; that we are all close-lipped. On the contrary, I have heard what has gone on in several membership selection sessions of other sororities, usually because one or more members is outraged at what went down.

I never said that members never share membership selection information. I said that you don't know for sure. Women who are sad that their rush crush or future little sister got cut by the chapter share things all day long about why they *think* someone was cut, or what discussion was during sessions. All of it is to be taken with a grain of salt by the people outside the chapter who are hearing it since in pretty much every case there are multiple factors. On the flip side, i feel that disclosing MS discussion details should be taken extremely seriously within the chapter from a standards perspective. It is 100% unacceptable to discuss this outside sessions.

[carnation]

I do know for sure.

[QueenD]

Originally Posted by carnation

I do know for sure.

WOW! How did you find yourself sitting in MS for multiple NPC sororities at the same time?

If you were not a super moderator, I'd swear you were trolling.

[carnation]

No troll. Years of being a Greek advisor. Seven Greek daughters and about 15 Greek nieces. Good Panhellenic reputation.

You're a KD? I've been told what went on in several KD membership selection sessions in the past few years. And other groups.

[FSUZeta]

Certainly she has not sat in on multiple membership selections at various sororities. It's not allowed. But when you are an active alum, interacting with other Panhellenic alums, perhaps at the same university, I have been told you might share information with your trusted friends. Might. Or might not.

[SWTXBelle]

Not to mention that those of us who have known her for years, both on-line and irl, know her to be of impeccable reputation.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by QueenD

WOW! How did you find yourself sitting in MS for multiple NPC sororities at the same time?

If you were not a super moderator, I'd swear you were trolling.

OH my. I am actually speechless. You might want to ... oh, nevermind.

FWIW you may (or may not) think or believe that nothing that transpires in chapters is communicated or shared outside the chapters. I know better. And good luck trying to put any sort of stop to that. It's human nature, fundamentally. We all have experiences to share re: severe cuts due to legacy status. Today's PNMs and actives are completely dialed in to information and ferreting out same.

[QueenD]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

OH my. I am actually speechless. You might want to ... oh, nevermind.

FWIW you may (or may not) think or believe that nothing that transpires in chapters is communicated or shared outside the chapters. I know better. And good luck trying to put any sort of stop to that. It's human nature, fundamentally. We all have experiences to share re: severe cuts due to legacy status. Today's PNMs and actives are completely dialed in to information and ferreting out same.

It appears that there are some reading comprehension issues. I never said that membership selection information never leaves chapters, not even once. And I mean no disprespect to carnation, who I've enjoyed reading here for years.

I said that carnation has no way of knowing what truly transpired in membership selection. Period. This is the same thing that I've seen people IN THIS THREAD remind other GC posters for years. We remind PNMs, their moms, and other alumnae of this all the time.

It does a huge disservice, especially to PNMs and their mothers who are sad that they were dropped from chapters, when we act like they could know what transpired. In this circumstance, we have a very hurt PNM and her aunt who are looking to understand what happened - something that can make normally very rational people go a bit more into emotional territory. Having gotten angry and upset phone calls from alumnae who didn't understand cuts or other recruitment results when I served as recruitment adviser for several years, I have more experience with that than I would care to admit.

I hope carnation's niece finds a home. Truly.

[AZTheta]

There's nothing wrong with my reading comprehension. But thanks for being concerned.

Speaking of reading comprehension, carnation's niece did find a home.

Yeah. Uh huh.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

There's nothing wrong with my reading comprehension. But thanks for being concerned.

Speaking of reading comprehension, carnation's niece did find a home.

Yeah. Uh huh.

Irony meter is off the charts!

[QueenD]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

There's nothing wrong with my reading comprehension. But thanks for being concerned.

Speaking of reading comprehension, carnation's niece did find a home.

Yeah. Uh huh.

AZTheta, I am sorry. I didn't mean to imply you had a reading comprehension problem. I meant that this thread had people from multiple perspectives talking past each other. I will cop to it myself, since I've been more tuned in to the discussion around what people know coming out of membership selection than I was the result of CarnationNiece's recruitment.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by QueenD

AZTheta, I am sorry. I didn't mean to imply you had a reading comprehension problem. I meant that this thread had people from multiple perspectives talking past each other. I will cop to it myself, since I've been more tuned in to the discussion around what people know coming out of membership selection than I was the result of CarnationNiece's recruitment.

OK me too.

No dirty deletes here, owning my own snark. Maybe we all need ... um ... something?