Resigning from my Fraternity

edwheezy · #1 08-16-2017, 11:07 PM

Ok I did not know that. Does the NIC not get involved though? And my friends are not the deciding factor. I joined a group of guys I cannot seem to connect with at all. The fraternity I am in currently has no intentions of improving not only as a fraternity, but as individuals. It is an extremely divided group of guys and If I can find a way out I will. I just wanted to add that yes I have friends in the chapter, but that does not guarantee I will pledge. I completely understand that i will I will be going back on my word when I pledged but I am unhappy.

thetalady · #2 08-17-2017, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by edwheezy

Ok I did not know that. Does the NIC not get involved though? And my friends are not the deciding factor. I joined a group of guys I cannot seem to connect with at all. The fraternity I am in currently has no intentions of improving not only as a fraternity, but as individuals. It is an extremely divided group of guys and If I can find a way out I will. I just wanted to add that yes I have friends in the chapter, but that does not guarantee I will pledge. I completely understand that i will I will be going back on my word when I pledged but I am unhappy.

You are UNHAPPY? My dear, there are many, many, many things in life that will make you unhappy. Are commitments are meaningful and binding to you only when it makes you happy?

If you are lucky enough to find a good woman & get married, there will be lots of times that you will be unhappy with her. Too bad. You find a way to work through it.

Happiness is not guaranteed to you anywhere, anytime, by anyone.

edwheezy · #3 08-17-2017, 12:34 AM

absolutely. But am I supposed to continue to affiliate with a group of guys that I cannot find a connection with? To go back to your marriage metaphor, would you stay in a marriage if there is no bond between you and your partner?

thetalady · #4 08-17-2017, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by edwheezy

absolutely. But am I supposed to continue to affiliate with a group of guys that I cannot find a connection with? To go back to your marriage metaphor, would you stay in a marriage if there is no bond between you and your partner?

That is a very personal and individual decision. For me... YES, I made a sacred vow & I take it damned seriously. You know, the whole "for better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health" thing? I meant it. It was not "as long as this makes me happy." My commitment to my sorority vows is very similar to me.

edwheezy · #5 08-17-2017, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady

That is a very personal and individual decision. For me... YES, I made a sacred vow & I take it damned seriously. You know, the whole "for better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health" thing? I meant it. It was not "as long as this makes me happy." My commitment to my sorority vows is very similar to me.

I agree 100%. And I respect that you do, but I find this to be a very personal decision for me as well. I joined this fraternity with the idea that brotherhood would be prioritized, and that an unbreakable bond would be created. I have 0 sense of brotherhood right now and if that bond is not created now, how will it be created once we graduate? Like I said previously, I would be an inactive member if i transferred anyway, so if i am granted resignation, would it not be worth a shot to find brotherhood elsewhere if it does not violate any rules?

SWTXBelle · #6 08-17-2017, 06:09 AM

[QUOTE=edwheezy;2438688
. . . so if i am granted resignation, would it not be worth a shot to find brotherhood elsewhere if it does not violate any rules?[/QUOTE]

As has been stated elsewhere, it probably DOES violate the rules of the individual fraternities. Finding brotherhood after graduation? Do you honestly think the hundreds of thousands of alumni in fraternity and sorority alumni groups don't find brother/sisterhood in those groups? It's a bit different, being as you have adult lives and come from all over, but in many ways it is just as fulfilling. IF, and it's a big IF, the fraternity you resign from AND the fraternity you wish to join have no problem with it, you could do it. IF NOT - and that is the more likely scenario - you cannot, without being a faithless fraud. There are undoubtedly many different organizations other than fraternities on your new campus where you can find supportive friends. I'd suggest you explore those options.