Transferring schools while in a fraternity

[cooljon525]

I really appreciate all your feedback.

I am really torn on what to do. The school I want to transfer to is really big on greek life and I do wanna stay in the fraternity I am in. It is making my decision to transfer a lot harder because I have 3 more years of college and my fraternity has had such a positive impact on my life thus far. If I do transfer, I will for sure meet with the guys of AEPi and hopefully they will let me in. My friends in that chapter told me not to get my hopes up though because they hate transfer students and feel like they are just tag alongs. I believe that if they do reject me, they'll give me the option to re-pledge which I would not want to do since I've already gone through the tough process once.

I understand people who think it is completely unloyal to quit a fraternity and join another one but there are two sides of the story. It is also unfair for a person to not be able to join his own fraternity at a different school and then be expected to stay in that fraternity, declare alumni status, and not join another one. It doesn't make sense to me.

I don't see what choice I would have other than renouncing my membership and looking for a fraternity that would accept me. Many people online, however, say that most people would not bid someone who has been in another fraternity. If I do renounce my membership, would I be required to let guys know during rush that I've been in another fraternity even if i'm no longer a member? I believe that even if guys heard my story, they would understand.

I know I haven't even gotten voted out yet so I may turn out fine but I believe that my friends are right on this issue and that my chances will be very low of getting in. Ultimately this problem is really making me want to stay at my current school but it would be a complete shame to turn down a better education in my field just because of my fraternity issue.

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by cooljon525

I really appreciate all your feedback.

I am really torn on what to do. The school I want to transfer to is really big on greek life and I do wanna stay in the fraternity I am in. It is making my decision to transfer a lot harder because I have 3 more years of college and my fraternity has had such a positive impact on my life thus far. If I do transfer, I will for sure meet with the guys of AEPi and hopefully they will let me in. My friends in that chapter told me not to get my hopes up though because they hate transfer students and feel like they are just tag alongs. I believe that if they do reject me, they'll give me the option to re-pledge which I would not want to do since I've already gone through the tough process once.

I understand people who think it is completely unloyal to quit a fraternity and join another one but there are two sides of the story. It is also unfair for a person to not be able to join his own fraternity at a different school and then be expected to stay in that fraternity, declare alumni status, and not join another one. It doesn't make sense to me.

I don't see what choice I would have other than renouncing my membership and looking for a fraternity that would accept me. Many people online, however, say that most people would not bid someone who has been in another fraternity. If I do renounce my membership, would I be required to let guys know during rush that I've been in another fraternity even if i'm no longer a member? I believe that even if guys heard my story, they would understand.

I know I haven't even gotten voted out yet so I may turn out fine but I believe that my friends are right on this issue and that my chances will be very low of getting in. Ultimately this problem is really making me want to stay at my current school but it would be a complete shame to turn down a better education in my field just because of my fraternity issue.

Are you an initiated member? I guess I'm not understanding why/how the other chapter could have you "pledge" again if you're already initiated? That's a good question to ask your national HQ about the process. Only initiated members are completely beholden to their fraternity or sorority. If you are initiated, it seems like the only options for that chapter are to affiliate you, or turn you down for affiliation.

If your friends in that chapter are discouraging you, I think you're right to be worried. Sounds like they're giving you tough, but honest, advice.

I transferred and affiliated myself, and it is a weird process to have to get voted in by the new chapter. I was going to advise you to make contact early with the chapter leadership and put your best foot forward, but your friends' opinions are making me think you may need to decide between transferring and the active, collegiate fraternity experience.

The rules are the rules and there aren't any exceptions for certain situations. Since you know brothers at the new school, there's no way you could fly under the radar and try to rush another fraternity. The word will be out, and then you'll really be persona non grata.

If you're not initiated, then you can rush again.

[PhilTau]

Three more years of college? Though you make us guess at your situation, if three years includes graduate school or a five-year professional program, keep your priorities straight. It is probably a safe assumption that you are transferring to harder and/or more prestigious school, so focus on your classes. Then see if you really have time for an active roll in any fraternity, especially since you are already in a good one now.

There is nothing stopping you from periodically going back to your old school for alumni fraternity events there. Also, there is likely nothing stopping you from focusing on your field of study by joining a professional fraternity in your field at your new college.

I don't know the politics of AEPi - but, if you want to pursue joining the chapter at your new college, this may be a rare situation where recommendation letters from alumni of the chapter at your new school may help. Also, letters from your old chapter recommending your affiliation could also help, assuming of course that you were a good member and someone they will be missing.

In general, I believe it is a very big mistake for an initiated member of any fraternity to even consider renouncing his membership. For most fraternities, the commitment made to the fraternity is for life.

[cooljon525]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

Are you an initiated member? I guess I'm not understanding why/how the other chapter could have you "pledge" again if you're already initiated? That's a good question to ask your national HQ about the process. Only initiated members are completely beholden to their fraternity or sorority. If you are initiated, it seems like the only options for that chapter are to affiliate you, or turn you down for affiliation.

If your friends in that chapter are discouraging you, I think you're right to be worried. Sounds like they're giving you tough, but honest, advice.

I transferred and affiliated myself, and it is a weird process to have to get voted in by the new chapter. I was going to advise you to make contact early with the chapter leadership and put your best foot forward, but your friends' opinions are making me think you may need to decide between transferring and the active, collegiate fraternity experience.

The rules are the rules and there aren't any exceptions for certain situations. Since you know brothers at the new school, there's no way you could fly under the radar and try to rush another fraternity. The word will be out, and then you'll really be persona non grata.

If you're not initiated, then you can rush again.

I am an initiated member. My friends told me that the chapter gets a lot of transfers each year and the guys are frustrated because of it. They want people to go through the pledge process. I am considering re-pledging but their chapter has an extremely hard pledge process so I'm worried that my grades will suffer tremendously.

[33girl]

There's also the chance that you will get to your new school and not like the guys in the new chapter, or not like Greek life in general. It might be more of a change than you think going to a school-recognized chapter if the one you pledged is not.

I know that there are chapters who have issues with lots of transfers coming in, but if anyone told me I had to repeat pledging after I was a fully initiated member, I think I would tell them to go shit in their hat.

[PhilTau]

Originally Posted by cooljon525

I am an initiated member. My friends told me that the chapter gets a lot of transfers each year and the guys are frustrated because of it. They want people to go through the pledge process. I am considering re-pledging but their chapter has an extremely hard pledge process so I'm worried that my grades will suffer tremendously.

Making initiated members pledge again? I can see how this would make initiates upset.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by cooljon525

I am an initiated member. My friends told me that the chapter gets a lot of transfers each year and the guys are frustrated because of it. They want people to go through the pledge process. I am considering re-pledging but their chapter has an extremely hard pledge process so I'm worried that my grades will suffer tremendously.

So what you're saying is that this chapter hazes badly?

You could always begin the process, gather solid evidence, report those dbags to HQ and be part of the leadership team when HQ comes in to clean house. If you have a chapter which is hazing, it is not a question of if, but when someone gets hurt.

If no hazing is involved, repledging will be like going back to high school knowing all of the stuff you know now. The process may be difficult for those who haven't gone through it, but you have. I can also appreciate them wanting you to go through that process to join their chapter. It's part of their chapter's culture.

[cooljon525]

Originally Posted by Kevin

So what you're saying is that this chapter hazes badly?

You could always begin the process, gather solid evidence, report those dbags to HQ and be part of the leadership team when HQ comes in to clean house. If you have a chapter which is hazing, it is not a question of if, but when someone gets hurt.

If no hazing is involved, repledging will be like going back to high school knowing all of the stuff you know now. The process may be difficult for those who haven't gone through it, but you have. I can also appreciate them wanting you to go through that process to join their chapter. It's part of their chapter's culture.

If re-pledging was just about learning the history of the fraternity then, of course, I would just do that and not make this post. Part of the reason I was considering renouncing my membership if can't transfer in, is so that I can pledge a fraternity with an easier pledge process. I barely got through pledging once and I know that this chapter I want to join has it a lot worse for pledges. I wouldn't want to report them because I feel like that would only make my situation worse and i'll make enemies.