What to tell overconfident PNMs

[Titchou]

I hate it when they don't make the call. I'm old school enough to believe it's the right thing to do. But I've been around long enough to know that logistically for some chapters, it isn't that simple. Chapters that have 50-60 or more legacies coming thru face a real challenge. And not just any adviser can make the calls. Most groups require it to be a particular adviser and she's already busy....if it was 5-6,that's one thing. But 20 or so, my heart goes out to them. I've had to make that phone call and I sure wouldn't want to have to make multiple ones on the same night.

[carnation]

Here's the hard thing about making the call: you can't say why they were cut, even if you know why. Often, it was just a numbers thing. That one hurts because the alum might know that 500 girls are coming back to the next set of parties and all she can think of is that the chapter liked at least 500 girls better than her daughter.

Or the real reason might be something sordid, such as her daughter has a horrible reputation--and the alum might not realize this. I know local girls who've been totally cut out of recruitment for photos they put on Instagram or Facebook. No one wanted to be the one to enlighten Mom that her daughter had posted a photo of herself peeing in a sink!