Recruitment Anxiety

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by PhilTau

3) Having friends in multiple sororities to vouch for you gives you great advantage. As in life (and you will learn this when looking for employment), now is the time to call in all favors with your friends. If you are interested in joining a sorority where your friends are members - be sure to tell them you are interested in joining. Contact them now. Take them out to lunch now. Don't make it a secret that you are interested in joining. Remember that you can be interested in other sororities besides the ones that your friends belong to -- keep your options open. (see 4 below)

Good advice. However, be careful with this one. You don't want to come off as desperate, and you don't want to sound like you're asking for a bid. A favor doesn't = "You can get me in, right?"

Just say you're interested, and ask them general questions about recruitment (e.g. "The dress for Round 2 is listed as 'smart casual'. What do you think would be appropriate to wear?"). They'll know that you're serious about joining. But no questions about how they decide who gets a bid!

And again, don't come off like you're looking for them to promise you one. This puts your friends in a very awkward situation. And on the flip side of things, when recruitment is over, never ask them why you didn't get a bid to their chapter. They can't tell you, as membership selection is private. You don't want to force them to lie to you. But honestly, they may not even know why.

Just be casual about the whole thing and don't expect anything from them. They have influence in their chapter, but it only goes so far. There are other members of each sorority who have a say, as well.

[PhilTau]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Good advice. However, be careful with this one. You don't want to come off as desperate, and you don't want to sound like you're asking for a bid. A favor doesn't = "You can get me in, right?"

Just say you're interested, and ask them general questions about recruitment (e.g. "The dress for Round 2 is listed as 'smart casual'. What do you think would be appropriate to wear?"). They'll know that you're serious about joining. But no questions about how they decide who gets a bid!

And again, don't come off like you're looking for them to promise you one. This puts your friends in a very awkward situation. And on the flip side of things, when recruitment is over, never ask them why you didn't get a bid to their chapter. They can't tell you, as membership selection is private. You don't want to force them to lie to you. But honestly, they may not even know why.

Just be casual about the whole thing and don't expect anything from them. They have influence in their chapter, but it only goes so far. There are other members of each sorority who have a say, as well.

Even better advice. Thanks for expanding on and explaining this.

[LightnAiry]

It's for this exact reason that I'm only mentioning it to the girls that I was very close with during the last year. While I'm on good terms with the other girls it would seem odd of me to mention it to them.

And in other news I've found a great way to distract myself from Recruitment. I'm just excited because all the sororities seem to have great sisterhoods, I would be proud to call any of them home. Besides even if it's not for me, I will have hopefully made friends from the process. (I'm thinking positively now and it's quite refreshing).

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Good advice. However, be careful with this one. You don't want to come off as desperate, and you don't want to sound like you're asking for a bid. A favor doesn't = "You can get me in, right?"

Just say you're interested, and ask them general questions about recruitment (e.g. "The dress for Round 2 is listed as 'smart casual'. What do you think would be appropriate to wear?"). They'll know that you're serious about joining. But no questions about how they decide who gets a bid!

And again, don't come off like you're looking for them to promise you one. This puts your friends in a very awkward situation. And on the flip side of things, when recruitment is over, never ask them why you didn't get a bid to their chapter. They can't tell you, as membership selection is private. You don't want to force them to lie to you. But honestly, they may not even know why.

Just be casual about the whole thing and don't expect anything from them. They have influence in their chapter, but it only goes so far. There are other members of each sorority who have a say, as well.

Yes!

I've seen this really backfire on girls because her friends (especially those who are in the same chapter and talk all the time) will start to be like "Why is she so pressed?"

Or they'll start to feel like the only reason you're even talking to them is to try to get an "in" with recruitment.

[PhilTau]

Okay - when I said "now is the time to call in all favors with your friends" above I meant it metaphorically not literally. Of course knowing how to tactfully assert influence is an important leadership skill that may be present innately or learned. I do suspect that the word, friend, is being tossed around casually and many friends are really just casual acquaintances. But I maintain that true, long-time friends can and should be counted upon to help at a time when that help is really needed. Nevertheless, depending on the nuances of a given situation, all the above advice is pertinent.