Should I drop out of my sorority before recruitment?

undecided2404 · #1 03-12-2017, 07:42 PM

I'm just worried cause there's still a real chance I could be in the other sorority that I didn't pick for bad reasons (I have a lot of friends in it) but if I go through initiation at the sorority I'm currently pledging and drop after I wouldn't be able to rush next year... I'm just worried if I stay already feeling unhappy and a year from now I feel the same and end up dropping then I'll be left with nothing. I guess my gut is telling me to drop but I feel paralyzed by the fear that dropping is a mistake and that I'll regret it.

ASTalumna06 · #2 03-12-2017, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by undecided2404

I'm just worried cause there's still a real chance I could be in the other sorority that I didn't pick for bad reasons (I have a lot of friends in it) but if I go through initiation at the sorority I'm currently pledging and drop after I wouldn't be able to rush next year... I'm just worried if I stay already feeling unhappy and a year from now I feel the same and end up dropping then I'll be left with nothing. I guess my gut is telling me to drop but I feel paralyzed by the fear that dropping is a mistake and that I'll regret it.

You ultimately need to ask yourself why you're not happy in your current sorority. If it's because you're not "clicking" with other members, have you tried to reach out and hang out with them? Have you attended all events and attempted to connect? How many members are there in your chapter? If you're not in a smaller chapter (less than 30 members), I'd find it hard to believe that you can't connect with anyone.

Are you only looking to the other chapter as the answer because you already have friends there and it will be "easy" for you?

You don't have to be sorority sisters with your bffs.

You need to seriously weigh your options. Because if you drop and go through recruitment again, there's no guarantee that you'll get a bid to the other chapter.

ASTalumna06 · #3 03-12-2017, 07:54 PM

Also consider the fact that in May, there will be sisters graduating, and next school year you'll have more new members pouring in. Perhaps the chapter will turn over a bit and you'll find that you make some forever friends.

It's a gamble either way, and only you can make the decision to stay or leave.

undecided2404 · #4 03-13-2017, 11:17 PM

I've decided to drop. It has just been a huge source of anxiety for me lately and honestly I've just decided to go with my gut which tells me that this isn't right. I know that there are a lot of other factors, but at the end of the day I have to make the decision that's best for me, and I've tried really hard to justify the money and time commitment and I just can't. I understand that it will be hard at first but I have really supportive friends that I love who will help me get through this, and I truly believe that it's the right decision. Thank you so so much everyone for your advice it really helped!!!!

Titchou · #5 03-12-2017, 07:51 PM

OK, here's the deal. If you drop, you can go thru next formal recruitment. However, there is no guarantee you will get a bid to any group. So, what you need to decide is if staying in the current group is better or worse than belonging to no group...because that very well could happen. You have no guarantees. Just trying to shoot straight with you.

ASTalumna06 · #6 03-12-2017, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titchou

OK, here's the deal. If you drop, you can go thru next formal recruitment. However, there is no guarantee you will get a bid to any group. So, what you need to decide is if staying in the current group is better or worse than belonging to no group...because that very well could happen. You have no guarantees. Just trying to shoot straight with you.

Jinx

Cheerio · #7 03-13-2017, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by undecided2404

I joined a sorority a couple months ago, and I m not really happy with it, and haven t clicked with a lot of the girls. I chose this sorority for really crappy reasons. A friend of mine suicide bid there which definitely affected my decision, and I also picked it for shallow reasons like popularity and status. There was another sorority that I almost put first but I didn t because I really fit in and felt comfortable there but I felt like being me wasn t good enough. The day of bid day I knew I had made a mistake. But I stayed with it to see if it got better and I still am undecided. Is dropping the right choice? Or should I stay and hope that things get better?

Quote:

Originally Posted by undecided2404

I'm just worried cause there's still a real chance I could be in the other sorority that I didn't pick for bad reasons (I have a lot of friends in it) but if I go through initiation at the sorority I'm currently pledging and drop after I wouldn't be able to rush next year... I'm just worried if I stay already feeling unhappy and a year from now I feel the same and end up dropping then I'll be left with nothing. I guess my gut is telling me to drop but I feel paralyzed by the fear that dropping is a mistake and that I'll regret it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titchou

OK, here's the deal. If you drop, you can go thru next formal recruitment. However, there is no guarantee you will get a bid to any group. So, what you need to decide is if staying in the current group is better or worse than belonging to no group...because that very well could happen. You have no guarantees. Just trying to shoot straight with you.

The advice here is genuine, and I hope you come back and let us know how your situation continues.