What could I have done differently?

[Kevin]

You always have to balance the rights of the victim against the rights of the accused. Swinging too far to the side of the victim means you're going to weaponize such allegations and that has its own set of unhappy consequences.

I'm not sure you should have resigned. Sounds like you are a credit to the organization. It sounds like there are some issues on that committee with members not being willing to take your personal experience and knowledge into consideration and trust in your good character that if you made such a recommendation, you made it for a valid reason. It doesn't sound like they valued your voice and maybe you felt you were wasting your time with them? I might agree with that.

[andthen]

Sen, I feel like you were really between a rock and a hard place and it was really a no-win situation for you. Certainly you maintained the confidentiality of the victim which I have to say is commendable considering the alternative to act on emotion and divulge more than you were authorized to do.

The two individuals involved truly know what happened and it sounds like a pretty awful thing. I do wonder if the second person who voted no had knowledge of the incident but at this point its probably neither here nor there, with regard to the award.

Resigning from your position, I get it on some level. I'd be pretty upset if I was in your situation and felt like my opinion wasn't valued, so if that played into your decision I understand. I'm not sure if you expressed that to the other committee members but if you haven't it might be helpful to at least follow up and provide insight on why you resigned the position. If anything although it may not change the situation it might give them food for thought should there be another character issue that comes up with a subsequent nominee.

[Sen's Revenge]

Originally Posted by Kevin

You always have to balance the rights of the victim against the rights of the accused. Swinging too far to the side of the victim means you're going to weaponize such allegations and that has its own set of unhappy consequences.

I'm not sure you should have resigned. Sounds like you are a credit to the organization. It sounds like there are some issues on that committee with members not being willing to take your personal experience and knowledge into consideration and trust in your good character that if you made such a recommendation, you made it for a valid reason. It doesn't sound like they valued your voice and maybe you felt you were wasting your time with them? I might agree with that.

I hear your thoughts and appreciate them.

For what it's worth, my term expired this month anyway, so it was more of a symbolic gesture anyway. Had it been in the middle of a term, I might have stayed to fight and/or make a larger point.

A large reason that I didn't divulge more information was because I understand how quickly these things can turn into gossip, rumor, etc -- things we wouldn't say to the person's face.

For me, I would absolutely say to him what I said to the committee. But I was measured the whole time and didn't want to blow it up in a way where none of us could recover.

Thank you for your feedback.

Originally Posted by andthen

Sen, I feel like you were really between a rock and a hard place and it was really a no-win situation for you. Certainly you maintained the confidentiality of the victim which I have to say is commendable considering the alternative to act on emotion and divulge more than you were authorized to do.

The two individuals involved truly know what happened and it sounds like a pretty awful thing. I do wonder if the second person who voted no had knowledge of the incident but at this point its probably neither here nor there, with regard to the award.

Resigning from your position, I get it on some level. I'd be pretty upset if I was in your situation and felt like my opinion wasn't valued, so if that played into your decision I understand. I'm not sure if you expressed that to the other committee members but if you haven't it might be helpful to at least follow up and provide insight on why you resigned the position. If anything although it may not change the situation it might give them food for thought should there be another character issue that comes up with a subsequent nominee.

Thank you.

The other no vote was not affiliated and is highly unlikely to have had knowledge of it. That is an interesting theory, though.

If I cared a little more, I might make it a point to explain why (although the email chain perhaps makes it clear). I did reach out to the other no vote to thank him for taking me at my word.

To all reading: This pretty much marks the end of my run with this organization--not for this reason--so I am not very inclined to make this issue a cause, but I have definitely learned a lot because of this particular incident.

Thank you, for real.