Hi everyone,
I am a proud African American male with a dilemma. I have been awarded a "bid" by two fraternities, one of them is historically black and the other is predominately white. I did all of my research on this particular BGLO and I came to love the organization on a national level. However, the particular chapter at my university leaves much to be desired. The entire chapter GPA is far below the national level minimum, the chapter does little community service and the members still seem to be able to maintain a high level of conciet. I kept my mouth shut during the interview process and the small get togethers because I wanted to appease the current brothers. I wanted to join badly because I respected its history, I had friends who were their sorors and because my best friends were active at other campuses. I felt that if I could "cross" and just stick with it, that I could enjoy the bonds with my other friends. However, I feel that the brothers in the chapter at my particular university are "lackluster" (compared to what i've heard and seen elsewhere) and after thinking closely, I'm not sure if I could enter into a bond with people who, at the beginning, I had the highest respect for, but after seeing who they where and what they were ultimately about, I have little if any respect for them. On the otherhand, I was able to rush a house in the IFC and I liked it. The members were really friendly towards me. I really had not ever considered going through rush but I went a long with a friend so that he wouldnt be alone. I was surprised and glad I did it. My whole problem is I really dont know what to do. I looked at the other 3 NPHC fraternities (one is suspended from my campus) at my university and for one reason or another, I couldnt picture myself in a bond with its members. Even though brotherhood is ultimately what I'm looking for, joining a predominately white fraternity would mean that I would rarely get the chance to enjoy the presence of my beautiful strong black sisters at our parties. Oddly enough, I couldnt picture myself getting along as well with any other "white" fraternity then I did with this one. I guess the truth is that when I feel compelled to join the NPHC because I know that long ago, many white greek houses where racists and didnt allow blacks and we had to do our own thing. I feel and see the strong history and traditions that have emerged in those organizations today. However, after thinking deeply with myself, I do not feel that I would enjoy myself or possibly even be a close brothers to the current members of the NPHC house at my university because ater hanging out with them for several months, I've come to realize that they're not what everyone make them out to be. On the other hand, the IFC house, who when I first me them seemed like a bunch of "tools", have probably turned out to be one of the most open-minded, friendly group of guys that I've met. I know that I'll probably get cold looks if I do the IFC thing but the truth is that my friends and family who I grew up with will always have my back and as long as I dont forget who they are, I can succeed at anything. Tell me what you think. I know that the decision is ultimately mine but what is your advice? And NPHC ladies (i.e. poodles, cats, elephants and frogs) uld you date a guy or attend a formal with him if he were in a predominantly white fraternity?
Thanks
BIG_Crimsonguy
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