RFM question now that bid day is here

[NWGreek]

Thanks for the advice. I have read here for months. She got 3 and ranked. Got 2nd choice. Very sad today. I have said everything a person could think of. It is a good house, girls of substance, you still have all of your old friends from high school in other houses - you name it. I said it. And all of it true. Just going to have to wait and see. A friend got what she wanted by suiciding. She played by the rules. I know it isn't a perfect system and no one is entitled to a bid at all. She has a chance to be Greek. It is up to her now. Tough duty for mom today.

[Sororitysock]

Originally Posted by NWGreek

Thanks for the advice. I have read here for months. She got 3 and ranked. Got 2nd choice. Very sad today. I have said everything a person could think of. It is a good house, girls of substance, you still have all of your old friends from high school in other houses - you name it. I said it. And all of it true. Just going to have to wait and see. A friend got what she wanted by suiciding. She played by the rules. I know it isn't a perfect system and no one is entitled to a bid at all. She has a chance to be Greek. It is up to her now. Tough duty for mom today.

It's because your daughter played by the rules that she has a bid at all. If she had suicided like her friend did, she would have been bidless since she obviously was not on their first bid list and would have been ineligible for quota additions. Additionally, she doesn't know whether or not she was a quota addition for #2. It's completely possible that she wasn't on the first bid list of any of her three preferenced sororities, and without RFM she could have been bidless. Your daughter was an RFM success story. If this isn't one of the things you have discussed with her, it's probably time to bring it up. She got her second choice for crying out loud. This will be a valuable life lesson in coping with disappointment and learning gratitude.