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Recruitment Stories This is the forum where you should place posts about your Recruitment experiences. General questions about Recruitment should be posted in the main Recruitment forum.

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  #9  
Old 09-11-2015, 11:11 AM
amillionlights amillionlights is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 62
If your temporary big has felt the same way, but encourages you to stick it out, then I think that's pretty good advice. That should give you some indication that there are some girls in the chapter who are like you (and like her). I think it's very easy to look around and feel like everyone is having fun without you, or that people are growing closer and you're getting left behind because you don't fit in. But it still hasn't been very long. There may be a girl in your chapter who is pretending to like going out three nights in a row, just so she doesn't feel left out, but would really rather bake cookies and watch old movies. Or there might be a girl who likes going out two nights in a row, but would love to stay in and order pizza with you on the third night. It's not always as black and white as it may seem.

What you are feeling is not unusual and it's not horrible. So hopefully you can find some inner calmness in knowing that you are not alone. And, for what it's worth, you might find this situation many other times in your life - after your graduate and get your first job out of college, you may not connect right away with your coworkers. I was a campus rep for a live-in internship program and got several calls from girls who didn't connect with their roommates or coworkers for whatever reason. My advice was always to stick it out, and it almost always got better for them. So, my point is that it's not some fundamental flaw in you not getting along with the people that are supposed to be your 'destiny', your lifelong sisters - it's natural. Sometimes it just takes longer to adjust. You might have felt this way in Banana, you might have felt this way in Apple, you might feel this way in other student organizations or clubs; you might feel this way many, many other times throughout your life. And that's okay. New situations and new groups of people almost always take time to find your place, especially when you are not an extroverted, outgoing, life of the party kind of person. But it almost always does get better.

My advice to you is to follow your instincts - reach out to your temporary big, your new member educator, whoever you feel comfortable with - and share what you're going through. You're not the "girl that doesn't want to be there", you're a new member who is trying to find her place and wants to connect with her chapter. You're not the first, and you won't be the last. Keep trying, don't give up, and don't worry that you are making a grave mistake by initiating or by dropping. It really will be okay, either way - I promise. It really will be okay. If you still don't feel it after trying and reaching out, then you'll know that it's not the right place for you. But I wouldn't give up until you give yourself a little more time.
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