Yet to be Themed Re-recruitment Story

[amIblue?]

Rec policies vary from sorority to sorority and from campus to campus, but I would never advise any PNM to attempt to go through recruitment in the south without recs. Especially if one is going through a second time. To be blunt, your rho gamma gave you really shitty feedback.

To answer your concerns about the positive feedback you're getting, I would think that you should consider it as being sincere. However, bear in mind that some chapters have a once cut always cut policy, and the people you are talking to now may not have been on the sister side of recruitment yet and may not be privy to what happened last year. Moreover, a handful of women in a chapter may or may not be enough to get you invited back.

[uclaucm]

Wishing OP the best of luck re-rushing this year. Her story brought up a question I had for some of the alums. I go to a school where 90% of girls don't get recs. Few, if any, of my sorority friends had recs when they went through. I've heard that groups required a rec for a bid but what does a chapter with that policy do at a school like mine where they take over 50 NM's, most of whom don't have recs? I am assuming the no bid without a rec policy has to vary by campus?

[KC_96]

Originally Posted by uclaucm

Wishing OP the best of luck re-rushing this year. Her story brought up a question I had for some of the alums. I go to a school where 90% of girls don't get recs. Few, if any, of my sorority friends had recs when they went through. I've heard that groups required a rec for a bid but what does a chapter with that policy do at a school like mine where they take over 50 NM's, most of whom don't have recs? I am assuming the no bid without a rec policy has to vary by campus?

This is the same situation on my campus. Last year, 8 of my now closest friends received bids across five of the six sororities. Of those girls, only 1 had a legacy and recs. The other 7 did not and they were all placed into houses. I know recs are important in the south, but at my school specifically, at least coming from the people I have talked to, recs are not a big thing.

To those who believe there is "misrepresentation" in this story, I'm sorry you feel that way. I am very busy and I assure you I would not waste my time posting falsehoods on the internet. My purpose here is to inform PNMs for years to come and share my re-rush process. Reading threads here has helped me better prepare for this year and I'm hoping to do the same for others.

I have a dinner with my rho gamma and rho gamma group tonight so I'm excited to meet more new students. There is another sophomore in my group that I had classes with in the past so I'm happy to have someone I kind of know along for the ride.

Thank you for all of your suggestions on getting recs. I completely understand where you are coming from.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by uclaucm

Wishing OP the best of luck re-rushing this year. Her story brought up a question I had for some of the alums. I go to a school where 90% of girls don't get recs. Few, if any, of my sorority friends had recs when they went through. I've heard that groups required a rec for a bid but what does a chapter with that policy do at a school like mine where they take over 50 NM's, most of whom don't have recs? I am assuming the no bid without a rec policy has to vary by campus?

There are 3 ways a chapter can get recs: 1) rushee does legwork and secures them on her own 2) sorority alumna who knows the rushee (relative, mom's bff, whatever) sends them to the chapter without telling the rushee 3) chapter obtains recs for the rushees they are interested in on their own.

If a sorority's national policy is that all women pledged have recs, they get those recs somehow.

[DubaiSis]

So here's the correlation I'm hearing: A bunch of people think you have diabetes. You have had a problem with it before, maybe - you did pass out once at the gym. Maybe your blood sugar just crashed because you overworked; maybe it was diabetes. You know several doctors. We know that making an appointment and going to the doctor is a hassle, but at least you don't have to start from scratch. A few people have told you you don't have diabetes. You can cut down on sugar just to play it safe or you can go eat a whole pie just to say screw you to the people who have said you might have diabetes. Of course it's not THEIR feet that will end up getting cut off.

So there you go. Maybe you don't need a rec. Maybe you do. Maybe by having one the chapter/s will get an extra look at you and discover something they didn't know about you that makes you appealing. By not receiving one they are tied to the information they have on you at face value.

You do you.

[Sciencewoman]

Here's the one reason I think getting recs would be a very good idea. Last year you were cut by most chapters. Having an alumna send in a rec this time might encourage a group to give you another look this year, because "once cut, always cut" is a valid concern, especially on a small campus where people know each other's business. Seriously, be completely open to all groups this time and value every invitation!

[BGKdLady]

I believe, and this was WAY back in the day, we used to have a group of Alumni on hand before pref writing recs for every girl who did not have one that was invited to pref. Kind of a stupid way around the rule, but.... I would totally agree with everyone. Why wouldn't you at least try to get them?

[amillionlights]

I wish you the best of luck! I went back and read your old thread and I am excited to follow along with you this year. Not to echo what everyone else said, but I think if you have the opportunity to work at getting recs, you definitely should. Even though recs might not be a "big thing" at your school, having them would only benefit you - after all, if 7 out of 8 girls that you know did not have recs, wouldn't you stand out being one of the few that does? Just a thought - best wishes to you. Enjoy your dinner tonight!

[BlueCarnation]

Not to beat a dead horse, but...please reconsider getting recommendations. Why would you not give yourself the best chance possible? I look forward to hearing how it goes. I wish you the best and hope that you will take our advice about the recommendations. We WANT you to succeed.

[1964Alum]

To repeat: If the NATIONAL sorority requires a recommendation in order to get a bid, that PNM MUST have a rec regardless of the individual campus culture.

Many chapters with that national policy will cut a PNM right after the first round if she doesn't already have a rec with them in order to concentrate on those who do as well as not to string along the PNM in hopes that a rec might be forthcoming.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by 33girl

There are 3 ways a chapter can get recs: 1) rushee does legwork and secures them on her own 2) sorority alumna who knows the rushee (relative, mom's bff, whatever) sends them to the chapter without telling the rushee 3) chapter obtains recs for the rushees they are interested in on their own.

If a sorority's national policy is that all women pledged have recs, they get those recs somehow.

HOWEVER, if this is a campus where they do use recs, the chapter needs to really, really, really want the PNM who is putting through this!

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

Here's the one reason I think getting recs would be a very good idea. Last year you were cut by most chapters. Having an alumna send in a rec this time might encourage a group to give you another look this year, because "once cut, always cut" is a valid concern, especially on a small campus where people know each other's business. Seriously, be completely open to all groups this time and value every invitation!

So much truth.

Originally Posted by BGKdLady

I believe, and this was WAY back in the day, we used to have a group of Alumni on hand before pref writing recs for every girl who did not have one that was invited to pref. Kind of a stupid way around the rule, but.... I would totally agree with everyone. Why wouldn't you at least try to get them?

I've been in that pool of alumnae. Should you get a bid, you will be known as "the PNM who didn't have anyone to write a rec for her". It is not a fun place to be.

OP, so many people would not have encouraged you to put some effort into recs if they didn't think they would help you. Not getting the recs even makes you look a little elitist.

With that said, I wish you a good experience in Recruitment.

[robinseggblue]

Originally Posted by 1964Alum

To repeat: If the NATIONAL sorority requires a recommendation in order to get a bid, that PNM MUST have a rec regardless of the individual campus culture.

Many chapters with that national policy will cut a PNM right after the first round if she doesn't already have a rec with them in order to concentrate on those who do as well as not to string along the PNM in hopes that a rec might be forthcoming.

It does still depend on campus culture though doesn't it? If it didn't, how would BGKdLady's post be true? At my campus...if you didn't have recs you'd be cut completely. Not so true at other campuses...

My bio sister went through recruitment at a lax campus without any recs and pledged a group that requires recs. I know because she told me this and did the same things you are doing of emphasizing it before my recruitment. Like I said I went to a much more competitive Greek school so I needed recs anyway. On her campus 99% of PNMs wouldn't have any recs. If the chapter didn't do the alum writing thing, they wouldn't have a pledge class.

I wish that national organizations were forthcoming about any rec requirements because it gets confusing for PNMs who don't have Greek family members to advise them.

[navane]

Here's the thing - last year, after being cut heavily, the OP reports that her insensitive Rho Chi told her, “Well, that’s what you get for going through recruitment without recs and legacies.”

Logically speaking, I don't think that Rho Chi would have said that unless recs were of some kind of importance on her campus. Right?

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by robinseggblue

It does still depend on campus culture though doesn't it? If it didn't, how would BGKdLady's post be true? At my campus...if you didn't have recs you'd be cut completely. Not so true at other campuses...

Christ Almighty.... how many times and in how many ways do we have to say this?

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. If the policy of a sorority states that a rec is required, it is required on ALL CAMPUSES, no matter what the "culture" might be.

Whether or not that rec is written in advance by an alumnae that knows you or by some poor woman frantically scribbling out recs for girls that she has never met in a back room, A REC WAS REQUIRED.

[33girl]

A rec was required for a bid to be given, not to invite the girl back to parties which is what I think robinseggblue meant.

The girls at the OP's school have no idea if recs were sent in for them without their knowledge. If the school is near larger flagship schools where recs are de rigueur and sorority alumnae are writing lots of them, I think it would be likely.