Fran's follow up is on her home page:
http://www.franbecque.com
From the article:
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and I know some of those mothers (and fathers, too. I am not discounting them, but as I said, I was writing it from the perspective of a mother) are this morning wondering what they did and what they could have done differently.
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Sen: I appreciate your comments. As white people we are responsible for our own call to action, and sometimes with our actions we are getting it right, but unfortunately most of the time we aren't.
Fran: We can do more as mothers. Much more.
My parents were both raised in the South by fathers who were racist. One man openly used the “n” word until the day he died. The other- ironically a minister- never used that word but never had to. His words, thoughts and actions portrayed anyone of color as less educated, less moral, and of less value and thus it was clear exactly where his heart was.
To my parents' credit they grew into adults who openly rejected those views. They worked very hard to show my brother and I that we are to love all people, and that all people are equal in the eyes of God and should therefore be equal in eyes of man, etc., etc. I grew up watching my parents embrace all my friends, male and female, with no difference shown to those of a different race. They had effectively broken the pattern of racism.
Or had they?
As they navigated the waters of raising children to have a very different mindset than what they had been taught to have, they made one huge mistake. They focused 100% of their teaching on treating others as equals, and that we aren’t different because “we all bleed red.” It was the “kum ba yah” approach to race relations. They truly believed they were doing the right thing by taking this approach.
But at no time did they ever mention lynchings. Bombs in churches were omitted too. Police brutality against people of color? Nope, never heard that message. All white juries sentencing black men to death with no evidence? That was never discussed either. Even though (or maybe because?) they had seen these things first hand, these historical facts, along with scores of other pieces of history, were never taught to me.
And don’t kid yourself that my 1980s white-fight suburban Texas public education system covered any of that. We were lucky to get 5 minutes on Rosa Parks and maybe a day of MLK. The Civil Rights Era was covered in much the same manner as the women’s right to vote… people wanted equality, a few said no, then boom- the government stepped in and now we are all happy.
When you grow up in white-flight suburbia you aren’t witnessing the effects of racism either, and there are but a few people of color in your entire school.
Therefore, I was well into adulthood before fully grasping the true ugliness of our history, understanding what is meant by privilege, and questioning my parents on why they had sanitized race relations. I asked around. Virtually all of my white friends had the same account: grandparents who were racists, parents who grew up in the Civil Rights Era, and they being raised to love but without any of the horrid, horrid details of what it is like to grow up as a person of color in the country.
I think many of today's NPC/NIC GLOs have kids with similar stories. Thus the racist themed events, but their decries that they weren't being racist at all. Thus, bystanders staying quiet while horrific words are chanted.
Therefore, as white people, we have to do a MUCH better job of educating our youth on our ugly history. We are failing miserably at this, and that includes many well-intentioned individuals. Highlighting the racial bias that has existed, and continues to exist, won’t make a generation of kids with racial bias. Studies prove otherwise. In fact, they will grow up to have more compassion and understanding for those around them and better recognize the position of influence they are in.
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