A brother in the fraternity I'm pledging is dating my ex

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by sialater

I know I shouldn't care and it's none of my business what this guy does with his free time, but it's super uncomfortable for me. I didn't know about this until after I accepted my bid. We talked about it and he seems really cool, but he did warn me that I would probably see her a lot around the house (cause he would bring her over). I'm expecting the "get over it" responses but the situation is much more delicate than that so it would be really preferable if I didn't see her. We are not on speaking terms to say the least. I'm only a pledge and I don't want to give them a bad impression of me, but at the same time I really need to tell him that I would be really uncomfortable with him bringing her over all the time. I don't see what the big deal is, the events are only for 2-3 hours, and he can see his gf right afterward. But he seems pretty insistent on bringing her over.

Is there anyway I can confront this?

Assuming you're serious and not a troll: have you considered getting some counseling or therapy or something along those lines? I mean that in the kindest way possible. Your insecurities appear to be crippling your ability to function as an adult.

[sialater]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Assuming you're serious and not a troll: have you considered getting some counseling or therapy or something along those lines? I mean that in the kindest way possible. Your insecurities appear to be crippling your ability to function as an adult.

Since when is feeling discomfort about someone close to you dating someone you used to have a relationship with a puerile reaction? I understanding you probably mean it in a good way, but I highly disagree that feeling discomfort over the fact that we are not allowed to speak to each other even though I will probably see more of her now is immature and warrants therapy.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by sialater

Since when is feeling discomfort about someone close to you dating someone you used to have a relationship with a puerile reaction? I understanding you probably mean it in a good way, but I highly disagree that feeling discomfort over the fact that we are not allowed to speak to each other even though I will probably see more of her now is immature and warrants therapy.

You used "puerile" to describe your reaction, I did not. Neither did I say anything about immaturity. I find your word choices very telling. Looks like I hit a nerve by accident.

Let me elucidate: you, by your own admission, overthink everything. That's just for starters. What you've shared here strongly suggests insecurities. Learning to be comfortable in your own skin is a good place to start, instead of defining yourself by outside events.

I wish you the best of luck.