Bit of a dilemma with spring rush

Revent · #1 01-08-2015, 10:36 PM

Let me preface this by saying I'm a student at a fairly large SEC school. The Greek life is a large portion of the student population.

Back in fall, I wasn't able to make as many rush opportunities as I wanted to because I was out of state and came in later than normal. I had been in contact with a well regarded fraternity on campus which I was a legacy of. I hadn't been able to get to know some of the guys and missed out on fall rush. I decided that I would poke around during spring rush, which the fraternity I was a legacy of (Let's name it fraternity A) didn't take part in. I had a friend who joined a less known and regarded fraternity(fraternity B) on campus and through him was able to contact the rush chair. Towards the end of fall, I was invited to a party and a few other events. I came back on the fence about whether or not I wanted to do it; as spring rush is less active, regarded as "less fun" and looked down upon at my school. On the third day of classes in was invited to a party and given a bid without the chance to defer. In the moment I accepted it. After two days I'm still 50/50 on whether I should notify the rush chair that I feel spring rush is for me. My father, uncle and some family friends had both been a part of fraternity A and I heard stories as well as a lot of respect for them growing up. It would be nice to have that connection to the two of them and follow in their footsteps(same chapter) and to also get a better view of the fraternities

Looking at these two here are some pros and cons;

Fraternity A:

Strong nationally
Well regarded among the greeks (high tier)
Have a somewhat high GPA(top 10)
Throw a lot of fun parties and have a brand new house
Some "frat stars"(everyone has them though ).
Do charity work but not as much as Fraternity B
Might party a bit too much and while they attract some of the prettier girls, they're also not the classiest
Some hazing

Fraternity B

Strong nationally but not near Fraternity A
Not well regarded. Known more as a nice group of guys but "low tier"
Highest GPA on campus
Bit larger (about 40-50) more than Fraternity A. I want to go for a leadership position and I feel it will be easier and more impressive to do so at Fraternity A
No real hazing
Do the most charity work among fraternities
Not moving into a large house until spring 2015

Since I've only been pledged for about two days and we're still not close to the official beginning of spring rush, would it hurt me to notify them that I would like to drop and wait until next fall? I think it would benefit me to look at more of the fraternities and also see if I mix with Fraternity A well. I'm not sure what to do currently but I'm leaning towards waiting until fall.

ASTalumna06 · #2 01-08-2015, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revent

Let me preface this by saying I'm a student at a fairly large SEC school. The Greek life is a large portion of the student population.

Back in fall, I wasn't able to make as many rush opportunities as I wanted to because I was out of state and came in later than normal. I had been in contact with a well regarded fraternity on campus which I was a legacy of. I hadn't been able to get to know some of the guys and missed out on fall rush. I decided that I would poke around during spring rush, which the fraternity I was a legacy of (Let's name it fraternity A) didn't take part in. I had a friend who joined a less known and regarded fraternity(fraternity B) on campus and through him was able to contact the rush chair. Towards the end of fall, I was invited to a party and a few other events. I came back on the fence about whether or not I wanted to do it; as spring rush is less active, regarded as "less fun" and looked down upon at my school. On the third day of classes in was invited to a party and given a bid without the chance to defer. In the moment I accepted it. After two days I'm still 50/50 on whether I should notify the rush chair that I feel spring rush is for me. My father, uncle and some family friends had both been a part of fraternity A and I heard stories as well as a lot of respect for them growing up. It would be nice to have that connection to the two of them and follow in their footsteps(same chapter) and to also get a better view of the fraternities

Looking at these two here are some pros and cons;

Fraternity A:

Strong nationally
Well regarded among the greeks (high tier)
Have a somewhat high GPA(top 10)
Throw a lot of fun parties and have a brand new house
Some "frat stars"(everyone has them though ).
Do charity work but not as much as Fraternity B
Might party a bit too much and while they attract some of the prettier girls, they're also not the classiest
Some hazing

Fraternity B

Strong nationally but not near Fraternity A
Not well regarded. Known more as a nice group of guys but "low tier"
Highest GPA on campus
Bit larger (about 40-50) more than Fraternity A. I want to go for a leadership position and I feel it will be easier and more impressive to do so at Fraternity A
No real hazing
Do the most charity work among fraternities
Not moving into a large house until spring 2015

Since I've only been pledged for about two days and we're still not close to the official beginning of spring rush, would it hurt me to notify them that I would like to drop and wait until next fall? I think it would benefit me to look at more of the fraternities and also see if I mix with Fraternity A well. I'm not sure what to do currently but I'm leaning towards waiting until fall.

QFP

33girl · #3 01-08-2015, 11:12 PM

Just to clarify....which fraternity do you have a bid from now? Is this a bid for you to start pledging , or have you been a pledge for all this fall and are questioning whether to drop? I was confused with the way you worded the story.

Revent · #4 01-08-2015, 11:21 PM

I have a bid from B for the spring. Sorry about that, I'll clarify it in the post.

pinksequins · #5 01-09-2015, 09:03 AM

Is it feasible for you to approach your friend in B with the following: Joe, you know my Dad and uncle are As, and they were hoping that I'd at least give A a look. I am really flattered with the bid to B, but I need to strike a balance with my family and at least go through Spring or Fall rush more fully. I am sorry that I didn't have the presence to request a deferral at the time.
That is what I should have done because you are a really solid house.

That said, be prepared not to receive reconsideration of the bid. This is not likely a scenario where you get to hold a bid while you consider another. (Think dating, where you string a girl along and DON'T get me going on that.). Also consider that A might not choose you (despite legacy status), so you had best have a Plan C.

One last piece of advice: you seem overly status conscious. The comments on Spring recruitment are telling. That is an ingredient for disappointment when making decisions. As noted above, you may not score with either A or B. However, if you will be forever dissatisfied with B, do those guys a favor and decline the bid. They sound like a solid house with decent guys and an HQ that believes in the chapter to the extent of getting them a new house (as soon as it can be constructed). They also sound like a good group for post-graduated networking, and those guys sound like the fellows that you will actually stay in touch with. So if you stay with B, don't be an Eeyore.

DGTess · #6 01-09-2015, 11:48 AM

Do you want leadership opportunities - to grow and learn - or do you want the "easier" leadership position? Or do you want it to be "more impressive"? If you're worthy of a leadership position, the fact there are more in competition with you should not be a huge factor. Plus, do you want "leadership" opportunities in a fraternity that does "some hazing"? I hope not.

Your father and uncle will share everything with you but the letters and rituals; theirs will be similar, but not identical. They'll understand your experiences. If this is a good organization for you, follow through and make something of it. If not, "ya pays yer money and ya takes yer chances."

Sciencewoman · #7 01-09-2015, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksequins

One last piece of advice: you seem overly status conscious. The comments on Spring recruitment are telling. That is an ingredient for disappointment when making decisions. As noted above, you may not score with either A or B. However, if you will be forever dissatisfied with B, do those guys a favor and decline the bid. They sound like a solid house with decent guys and an HQ that believes in the chapter to the extent of getting them a new house (as soon as it can be constructed). They also sound like a good group for post-graduated networking, and those guys sound like the fellows that you will actually stay in touch with. So if you stay with B, don't be an Eeyore.

This.

This is my gut reaction as far as advice. If A was really hot after you, given your legacy status and that fact that you said you'd been in contact with them early on, they would have made more effort to pursue you in the fall. That didn't happen, so I think it could be wishful thinking to think you've got a good chance of getting a bid from them next fall. Aside from your legacy status, you haven't shared anything that sounds encouraging. Sadly, this is how it can go with "top tier" groups. A large part of their status comes from being selective/harder to get a bid from. I do understand the desire to join your legacy group, but it doesn't seem to mean a lot to the current members of A.

Group B sounds like a great group of guys, and you have a bid in hand. If you put "status" aside, I think you'd be happier long term with this group. These guys sound like they've got their act together and would be positive and supportive during your collegiate years.

Group A has "status." That's it, from what I can see. Group B has all the things that really count. That can be hard to recognize at this stage of life, but that's how I see it.

Personally, I'd rather be a member of a group that really wanted me, as opposed to a group that made me wait around to see if I'm worthy, and also hazes its new members.

pinksequins · #8 01-09-2015, 03:25 PM

In addition, B is not struggling for members per your post.

I like to make analogies to the business world (which you will encounter soon enough.) Would Warren Buffet buy the stock of A (seems like a high share price) or B (a solidly performing company) ?

DeltaBetaBaby · #9 01-09-2015, 05:17 PM

I also want to comment on the national status of the groups. Are you from an area, or do you expect to return to an area after college, where this matters? As a Midwesterner, nobody gives a flying f*ck about what (NPC/IFC) GLO I was in, nor its status on either my campus or nationally. If I meet other Greeks, it's cool to talk about our shared experience. From what I've learned here on GC, there are some areas of the South where people care, especially on the NPC side.

You said you are out of state, but I don't know what state, and it's best that you not tell us because it might make you identifiable, but consider that vast swathes of the country could care less about tiers.

1964Alum · #10 01-10-2015, 07:05 AM

I agree with the others that "B" sounds like a very solid house. And asking makes a difference! Do you feel that your values align with theirs? Is the only thing that bothers you about them is that they are not "top tier"? Is the possibility of being in your legacy group to share with your dad and uncle more important to you? Would that really make a difference in terms of your own experience? All GLOs change in one way or another over time. And your experience with your legacy GLO today might be very different from that of your dad and uncle. Things to think about!