Dating within Co-ed Fraternity

[naraht]

Originally Posted by mrex23

I'm in APO now have a big. We got paired up based on questions and pretty much what they thought was most compatible. Now that I found out who my big is, we get along real well. I never really felt this much of a connection between someone before. I know that people look down on littles and bigs dating, but is it possible for me??

I'm an Alpha Phi Omega brother married to an Alpha Phi Omega brother from another chapter (I pledged in 1986, she pledged in 1993). However, there were certainly relationships within my chapter (and hers). "If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the fraternity.".

Having said that, the limitation that makes sense is to not have pledges and brothers *start* dating each other during the pledge period. (I've also seen BF/GF where one has pledged while the other was a brother, those are not the same)

Given that this is Winter Break, I'm assuming you are already a brother (the number of chapters that pledging stretches over winter break is pretty small). If you are both brothers, I simply don't see a problem.*

*I have seen one chapter where no romantic relationship was allowed between people who could be check co-signers on the chapter bank account.

[mrex23]

I'm actually still pledging. You are right that I'm on winter break right now. Unfortunately pledging doesn't end for me until mid-January so hold off on it until then? This person that I'm interested in is also my big so will that even be more weird? Thanks for everyones input!

Originally Posted by naraht

I'm an Alpha Phi Omega brother married to an Alpha Phi Omega brother from another chapter (I pledged in 1986, she pledged in 1993). However, there were certainly relationships within my chapter (and hers). "If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the fraternity.".

Having said that, the limitation that makes sense is to not have pledges and brothers *start* dating each other during the pledge period. (I've also seen BF/GF where one has pledged while the other was a brother, those are not the same)

Given that this is Winter Break, I'm assuming you are already a brother (the number of chapters that pledging stretches over winter break is pretty small). If you are both brothers, I simply don't see a problem.*

*I have seen one chapter where no romantic relationship was allowed between people who could be check co-signers on the chapter bank account.

[33girl]

My big was my boyfriend (we were dating before I started pledging). In that situation, the question is always are you doing it for the person or because you really like the org. (I was the latter.)

In your case, though, I'd honestly hold off so no one thinks you have hidden motives.

[naraht]

Originally Posted by mrex23

I'm actually still pledging. You are right that I'm on winter break right now. Unfortunately pledging doesn't end for me until mid-January so hold off on it until then? This person that I'm interested in is also my big so will that even be more weird? Thanks for everyones input!

Huh, after you initiate, please tell us the school. The only chapter that I've run into that runs pledging across the new year is Theta at University of Virginia, and I'm not even sure they do it anymore. The phrasing of your original question, I think implied we were talking about your big...

[mrex23]

Will keep you updated. Yeah, I am talking about my big. Will it be weird if I date her? She's really amazing... I don't know if she would want to date her little though... It might also be because pledging at APO they use terms. I go to a school that is on a quarter system instead of a semester system so that my be why

Originally Posted by naraht

Huh, after you initiate, please tell us the school. The only chapter that I've run into that runs pledging across the new year is Theta at University of Virginia, and I'm not even sure they do it anymore. The phrasing of your original question, I think implied we were talking about your big...