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There are many reasons someone could be "cut" from recruitment, informal or formal - grades, personality, fit, class year, partying...a lot of things impact membership selection.
Without divulging anything that would reveal the person or year, I had a friend that I brought to an informal recruitment event when I was an undergrad. I LOVED her, and thought she was a perfect fit for our sorority - good grades, funny as could be, adorable, got along with a bunch of the girls. She seemed to get along great with many of the women at the party, but....unbeknownst to me (or her, really, because she was drunk and it was freshman year) she had PUNCHED one of the other members in the face at a party. Another member had been a floormate of hers freshman year, and she had done some shady things with the member's belongings and a garbage chute. My friend didn't end up getting a bid. Was I upset? Yes. But I also understood that allowing her in would have put my initiated sisters in an awkward place. But she found her home elsewhere.
As for the larger question, I think in the next 5-10 years groups will need to have some kind of policy in place - and I think that, as general opinion evolves, so will Greek life policies. I'm of the opinion that if the person identifies as female, we should honor the identification/pronouns.
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