"These are the rules!" But you didn't understand....

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Low D Flat

I STILL don't understand curfew.

My classmates raised all kinds of hell, but they did it before 11 PM. How does that make it better? What's the difference? The question ought to be what you're doing and with whom, not what time it is.

In my household, the curfew isn't about what they're doing at that time of night, it is about the fact that I won't sleep soundly until I know they are home safe and sound. The kids' car isn't the most reliable, so there is a high risk of it breaking down, and there are more drunk drivers on the road during later hours so a part of me is worrying, even when I'm "asleep", whether they'll get home safely when they are out. Plus, if my phone is going to ring after I'm asleep for me to come and get them from somewhere, I want it to be at a reasonable hour.

I had a curfew. I also had a lot of food rules (also Italian). Instead of 3 bites though, I had to eat as many as I was old (in years). So when I was 8, I had to eat 8 peas. To this day, I don't understand that. My mom always said I'd grow to like those foods I hated, but I never did. It was torture trying to choke down lima beans and peas. Ick. I did not make that rule for my kids.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I had a curfew. I also had a lot of food rules (also Italian). Instead of 3 bites though, I had to eat as many as I was old (in years). So when I was 8, I had to eat 8 peas.

I only had to eat 1 bite of everything, but I had to do it without making a face. If I made a face, then that meant try again. My mother finally figured out it was a lost cause with beets and tomato aspic.

As for curfew, I really only had one if I was on a date; then it was 15 minutes after her parents said she had to be home.

[Sciencewoman]

I agree with AGDee...the curfew is more about the parents knowing that the kid is home safe at an hour that reasonably aligns with the parents' bedtime. I trust my kids, but I do worry about drunk drivers, etc.

The summer after my freshman year of college, my mother told me she was worried that I'd turned into "an all-night partier" -- her angst-ridden tone suggested that "all-night partier" ranked slightly below "ax murderer" on her scale of nefarious activities available to teens.

So, I made a conscious effort to be cool when my daughter came home last summer, and I told her that I'd appreciate her staying in touch if she was out later, so I'd know she was OK.

MC, what do you think your parents were worried about happening AFTER you dropped off your dates? I'm trying to figure out that logic...I'd be more more concerned about the date itself, not your speed of return afterward.