What to tell overconfident PNMs

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

But keep in mind, too, that northerners might be getting "WTF, you don't need that" responses from alumnae who they ask.

THIS! I just talked to a Mom in CT the other day who's daughter is coming down south next year. She knows she needs help/advice, and I told her that she may get some very strange looks from her friends when she starts asking about recs. Since it doesn't happen much up north or where they might have gone to school, they think it's not necessary anywhere.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by iamamom

...So she went to our regional panhellenic website which clearly stated - if you are looking for a rec go to the national site. She went to the national site and found some email addresses and asked for help - she was emailed back to go to the local panhellenic...I suggest you go look to your national organization websites and pretend you don't know anything about it. Is the information easy to find?

I SO agree with this! We need to be making it easier, not harder, to find recommendations!

Originally Posted by shirley1929

...I told her that she may get some very strange looks from her friends when she starts asking about recs. Since it doesn't happen much up north or where they might have gone to school, they think it's not necessary anywhere.

I've done the same thing - warned PNMs that they may have to tell the alumnae they contact that recs are required at Southern schools.

Overall - we need to be better educating our members about the necessity of recs and how to correctly do them for your organization. I think part of the problem is that are usually processed by a committee or a couple of individuals, and most members don't see or hear about them except as a brief mention when you're going over the PNM list.

But if they're just a check-off item for your org and you don't read or use them, change your policies and procedures to eliminate them.

[iamamom]

I'm not saying anything to my daughter, but I'm a little worried about some of these rec writers. If they don't get the importance of this, it may not be the best effort. The one she's missing only took in two out of staters last year - so I'm thinking this is not worth having a heart attack over. And funny enough, it's the one with the most elusive website and contact info.

Trust me, she told me she's starting to feel like a stalker now.

So how does she go back and ask them if they sent them in without looking like a micro manager?

[honeychile]

I know that I've been quietly reading on this, but let me add this:

My ADPi little sister has three daughters, twins who decided not to go through recruitment, and one who wanted to do so (at VTech). LS hasn't even seen an Adelphean for years, but she decided to let me know HALFWAY THROUGH RECRUITMENT!! I asked if LSD (couldn't resist Little Sister's Daughter) had recs, and LS told me, "she told them that she was a legacy." ACK!!! With her permission, I contacted the Chapter Advisor, and got in touch with other wonderful NPC ladies who immediately did so for LSD, too. LSD is a wonderful young woman, with so many skills, it's amazing, and managed to get all the way until prefs, where she didn't get the invitations to neither of the sororities where she felt comfortable, and dropped out of Recruitment.

This is SO HARD for me, because she had it. She got through all but one round (with ADPi). While I'm not positive (due to membership selection reasons), I am 90% positive that LSD was seriously crippled by not having a FULL legacy rec (yes, ADPi was one of her desired GLOs). Her mother wasn't familiar with the necessity of recs at VTech because our chapter rarely got them. She hadn't been receiving the Adelphean, so she didn't hear it there.

I cannot imagine taking Physics 201 without taking the entry level classes first - don't let a PNM go through Recruitment without Recs! Just because the school says that they are unnecessary doesn't mean that they won't help a PNM immensely!

I can only hope that LSD gives it another try...

[TigerOwl]

'I cannot imagine taking Physics 201 without taking the entry level classes first - don't let a PNM go through Recruitment without Recs! Just because the school says that they are unnecessary doesn't mean that they won't help a PNM immensely!'


Another great way to explain WHY RECS! Thank you Honeychile!

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by honeychile

I know that I've been quietly reading on this, but let me add this:

My ADPi little sister has three daughters, twins who decided not to go through recruitment, and one who wanted to do so (at VTech). LS hasn't even seen an Adelphean for years, but she decided to let me know HALFWAY THROUGH RECRUITMENT!! I asked if LSD (couldn't resist Little Sister's Daughter) had recs, and LS told me, "she told them that she was a legacy." ACK!!! With her permission, I contacted the Chapter Advisor, and got in touch with other wonderful NPC ladies who immediately did so for LSD, too. LSD is a wonderful young woman, with so many skills, it's amazing, and managed to get all the way until prefs, where she didn't get the invitations to neither of the sororities where she felt comfortable, and dropped out of Recruitment.

This is SO HARD for me, because she had it. She got through all but one round (with ADPi). While I'm not positive (due to membership selection reasons), I am 90% positive that LSD was seriously crippled by not having a FULL legacy rec (yes, ADPi was one of her desired GLOs). Her mother wasn't familiar with the necessity of recs at VTech because our chapter rarely got them. She hadn't been receiving the Adelphean, so she didn't hear it there.

I cannot imagine taking Physics 201 without taking the entry level classes first - don't let a PNM go through Recruitment without Recs! Just because the school says that they are unnecessary doesn't mean that they won't help a PNM immensely!

I can only hope that LSD gives it another try...

As an update, LSD did go through Recruitment the following year, this time with a full load of recs. She fell in love with Pi Beta Phi, and got the bid of her choice. So, she did have a happy ending, and graduated this spring.

But there is one other comment I wish to make. When LSD's mother & I were actives, a 5-generation legacy went through Rush. She didn't want to go Greek, but was forced to do so - and showed it. We talked to our Advisor about her, and were told that we had no choice. She did pledge, but was initiated at Convention, then fell off of the radar. Maybe it's for the best - but I can't help but wonder if there's a 6-generation legacy about to sign up for Recruitment...