Should kids be allowed to sue their parents?

[OPhiAGinger]

I'm sorry to hear about your family situation, DNP, and I agree that none of us can fully understand the dynamics of that family. Hopefully the truth will come out in court.

But, in your situation which was truly an abusive one, do you feel like your parents owe you the cost of a college education? I think that's the part that is over the top and has people siding with the parents before they know the whole story.

[Dnpgopenguins]

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

I'm sorry to hear about your family situation, DNP, and I agree that none of us can fully understand the dynamics of that family. Hopefully the truth will come out in court.

But, in your situation which was truly an abusive one, do you feel like your parents owe you the cost of a college education? I think that's the part that is over the top and has people siding with the parents before they know the whole story.

My grandfather passed away when I was a senior in high school. He had left me money that I was suppose to use to pay for college. Because of this money my parents would NOT let me work or apply for scholarships. He passes before I turned 18. When I turned 18 my parents got control of this money and used it to control me. This is a very long story, but i often give the example of a kid holding a cookie and saying to a younger kid, "want the cookie?" and the little kid nods his head. The older kid holds the cookie and makes the little kid jump up or do other do something else. My parents help this money over my head for years telling me what I had to do to get the money. I did everything that I they said until I could not take it any more and left. Trick is that my parents gave the money to my brother, so he got his money and mine.

So, No I do not think that my parents just own me money because I was abused, however I think my parents own me this money and interest. I want to be clear, This is legally my money. But the will was written in a way that my parents got control over it and there was no specifics of me having to get it. I guess this made sense because grandpa was sick for about 10 years before he passed. If he though oh DNP is 8, she should not have access to this money. That would make sense. But My brother got his money when he turned 18, which sets a presidency that this money is mine.

The problem is that I have talked to lawyers who say things to me like, what is wrong with you, you want to sue your parents? Um yeah, I want the money that is legally mine. By giving the money to my brother that are stealing money from me. So, what is wrong with? um, my parents are stealing money from me. That is what is wrong.

Life is too crazy to really pursue this. It is hard to put energy into this. My grandmother (who was married to the grandpa who left me this money) recently passed and left me money, it is not even half of what grandpa left me, but it is better than nothing. So, I am able to go to school. But it is still hard to think about what my life would have been like if I had gotten the money, that i legally should have gotten, when I was 18. I try not to think about things like this, but trust me, I can let myself get really pissed off playing the what-if game.
DNP

[aephi alum]

Understanding is a three-edged sword: your side, their side, and the truth.

I've read a bit about this story. IMO, her parents should fund her high school education - they made her attend private school. But everything else should be on her. How many of us have paid our own way through college, by working a part-time job or taking out loans that we had to pay back after graduation or working full-time and going to school at night?

[DaffyKD]

There are a several things that bother me...

1. Daughter refused to live by her parent's rules in their house so she walked out the door.

2. She is staying with a friend whose father arranged for her to meet with the lawyer and encouraged her to sue her parents. The father wants child support for her-- wait! she is over 18, no child support. He can ask for assistance with her expenses but child support isn't the method.

3. She doesn't want to be a part of the family but wants their money. There is such a thing as public school. Yes, she would have to change schools at the end of her senior year but, again, her choice.

4. Supposedly she has been cutting school, doing poorly, etc. Which college would take someone who is not passing their classes? No college acceptance, no need for college tuition. She may have already had an acceptance before she walked out the door, but that does not mean that the school will not take back the acceptance. I know several kids who were accepted at their first choice school who decided to skate once they received their acceptance to the point they did not have an acceptable GPA their last semester. Imagine their surprise when that letter came telling them "we are sorry but you are no longer wanted by our school due to your poor grades during your last semester."

I have always told me kids that when you live at home, you take the good and you take the bad.

DaffyKD

[carnation]

See, that's what bothers me. Over the years, I've known of several kids who moved out, egged on by the siren call of another family who had Heaven knows what motive. To prove their goodness? To hurt the birth family? Or even, as recently happened here, to get a good girl to commit crimes with their family?

We have also known of many teens who lied about their home situation so they could live with a boyfriend or friends/move to Hollywood/date a sketchy guy or girl/get even with their parents for not buying them expensive electronics, etc. Abuse certainly occurs but so do horrific lies. And this just sounds bizarre.

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by carnation

See, that's what bothers me. Over the years, I've known of several kids who moved out, egged on by the siren call of another family who had Heaven knows what motive. To prove their goodness? To hurt the birth family? Or even, as recently happened here, to get a good girl to commit crimes with their family?

We have also known of many teens who lied about their home situation so they could live with a boyfriend or friends/move to Hollywood/date a sketchy guy or girl/get even with their parents for not buying them expensive electronics, etc. Abuse certainly occurs but so do horrific lies. And this just sounds bizarre.

I knew a lot more kids with dicey parents than parents with dicey kids. Much of my reaction to this case is filtered through that personal experience.

I ran down a chart that is put out by the National Conference of State Legislatures which lists a very brief of summary of what each state allows. A few states would allow what this kid is requesting. Another lawyer in my office who does family law has opined that there is a colorable legal argument that NJ is violating equal protection by allowing child support to be ordered for adult children of divorced parents but not for adult children of married parents. There isn't a good public policy reason to order college support for one, but not the other, and NJ apparently allows courts to order support for adult college-enrolled children in divorce decrees.

It's a tricky policy issue. How do we manage the financial emancipation of adult children in an economy where many of them aren't really able to support themselves until well after they reach legal adulthood? I'm a proud member of Team Commie, so I'd broaden grants and give stipends for young people who are attending college, but THAT ain't gonna fly in the current political environment.

You can see the overview here:
http://www.ncsl.org/research/human-s...for-adult.aspx

http://www.ncsl.org/research/human-s...for-adult.aspx