Advice!! Should I rush next year?

[clemsongirl]

Originally Posted by amh098

Hi,
So I'm currently a sophomore going to Rutgers University, and just went through Formal Recruitment this spring. (I didn't go through Formal during my freshman year because I was too nervous and hesitant to go through with it.) I'm a somewhat of a shy person, but tried my best to talk with the girls, and felt I had pretty good conversation with them. Unfortunately, I only got called back to XYZ for Philanthropy day, and got a call saying I was not invited to any parties for Preference day. A sorority was colonizing on my campus so I attended the interviews and recruitment events and again was rejected by that sorority.

I'm at a state where I want to go through rush again but don't know if I should. Since I will be a junior next year I don't know if I should go through informal recruitment, since not all sororities participate in it, and not sure how it works.

It'd be great if you guys could also tell what kind of things to talk about or how to keep a conversation going, since I think I lack in that field. :P
Thanks in Advance.

If you think you can handle potential rejection again then I would advise you to go through informal recruitment. The worst that can happen is your ego is a little bruised and you're in the exact same position you were in before. Keep in mind that the new colony will inevitably have some girls drop out, so they may have spots available at some point. Don't assume that you have an automatic in just because they're new, though (not that it sounds like you would do that from the tone of your post but just as a general caution). Also keep in mind that juniors are not usually as desirable simply because they'll be there for fewer years, so if there's any chance you'll be staying on campus for even an extra semester don't hesitate to mention that.

As for conversations, the best way to get better is to practice! Chat with the people sitting next to you in classes, in line when you're getting food, whenever you feel like it would be received well. If you're going to be working a summer job in any kind of service industry you will have many opportunities for light small talk that will be perfect practice for recruitment. Have information about yourself down without sounding robotic, since you'll be asked the same basic questions over and over again: you know you'll be asked where you're from, your major, etc. By the time I hit the second day of the first round I could describe myself quickly and memorably. I won't comment on informal recruitment since that's not how I joined and my chapter didn't do it, but that sounds like your best bet for Greek Life at this point.

[andthen]

Originally Posted by clemsongirl

If you think you can handle potential rejection again then I would advise you to go through informal recruitment. The worst that can happen is your ego is a little bruised and you're in the exact same position you were in before. Keep in mind that the new colony will inevitably have some girls drop out, so they may have spots available at some point. Don't assume that you have an automatic in just because they're new, though (not that it sounds like you would do that from the tone of your post but just as a general caution). Also keep in mind that juniors are not usually as desirable simply because they'll be there for fewer years, so if there's any chance you'll be staying on campus for even an extra semester don't hesitate to mention that.

Yes this. I would agree, if you are willing to open yourself up to potential rejection I would say go for it, nothing ventured nothing gained.

Also, get involved in some other activities if you aren't already. Sororities like to see women with diverse interests. Also if you're not doing any volunteer work, perhaps look into doing something along those lines as well.

I totally understand being shy, I am quite shy myself especially around people I don't know. I also tend to get lost in a crowd full of people. I know it can be daunting to go up to total strangers and converse with them. Keep this in mind as well, recruitment is all about talking to new people and its sort of a safe space to make small chit chat so hopefully that will provide some comfort. Also something to keep in mind too, for the members of the sorority it can be a nerve wracking time for them too, finding things to talk about, making a positive impression upon those PNMs.

Practice small talk, and also think of some things that might make you stand out so they will remember you. Like for example, I spent the summer in Spain etc. etc.

Good luck in your decision.