You have animals, he/she is allergic

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Exactly.



To me that means she doesn't want you to attend. My family, friends, and chapter Sorors don't host events if they are unwilling to accommodate the guests when it comes to pets. Everyone would eventually stop showing up if they believed some people were being excluded for the sake of animals.

I don't know if it's that they don't want people to attend as much as it is ignorance about how allergies can effect people. I've gotten the side eye from people who think I'm complaining about mild reactions and that I shouldn't inconvenience a host, when it's actually that my throat closes up as a result. For so many people in the world, I believe that if they don't directly experience something they don't believe it exists.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

I don't know if it's that they don't want people to attend as much as it is ignorance about how allergies can effect people. I've gotten the side eye from people who think I'm complaining about mild reactions and that I shouldn't inconvenience a host, when it's actually that my throat closes up as a result. For so many people in the world, I believe that if they don't directly experience something they don't believe it exists.

If someone tells you they have allergies or they are afraid of pets, put the darn pets away. There's no need to get a doctor's note or make people have to practically plead for the comfort and convenience of humans. Insisting that pets and pet remnants take over your house regardless of the impact on humans screams intentional assholeness rather than cluelessness. Unless the person has an antisocial personality disorder.

Winter, are your pets really your best friends? Do they talk to you and listen (know and understand what you're saying) to you when you talk to them? Yes, there are men who aren't allergic to your pets but I think there's a larger point here than men. This is about conception of self and conception of pets. I'm not trying to beat you over the head but I find your posts in this thread interesting and they spark discussion.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

If someone tells you they have allergies or they are afraid of pets, put the darn pets away. There's no need to get a doctor's note or make people have to practically plead for the comfort and convenience of humans. Insisting that pets and pet remnants take over your house regardless of the impact on humans screams intentional assholeness rather than cluelessness. Unless the person has an antisocial personality disorder.

Winter, are your pets really your best friends? Do they talk to you and listen (know and understand what you're saying) to you when you talk to them? Yes, there are men who aren't allergic to your pets but I think there's a larger point here than men. This is about conception of self and conception of pets. I'm not trying to beat you over the head but I find you posts in this thread interesting and they spark discussion.

I wish all cat owners that I've known over the years thought like you, but they don't. I agree with you that people come first, but if I got mad and called people an asshole every time in my life I was faced with this ignorance, I would end up being considered the asshole.

I've had similar conversations with mothers who get all bent out of shape about no peanut butter at schools. I've pissed some people off by asking them if they're cool being the one responsible for landing their kid's classmate in the emergency room because it's more convenient for them to send peanut butter. To me it's not worth the risk. My kid can eat something else. If she's too picky to eat what I pack for her, she will if she gets hungry enough. People who haven't experienced severe allergies just don't get it.

[Munchkin03]

Two of my friends recently married. He is allergic to cats, she had two that she loved immensely. As a result, when they were dating, they spent most of their time at his place. He did start getting shots so he could come over. When they got engaged and moved in together, one cat came and the other stayed behind at her family's home. The cats are old and chances are when they die, they won't replace them.

Compromise is key with something like this. Once they found the right person, the animal situation worked itself out. Either of them could have been inflexible--and they'd likely still be single and wondering why they couldn't find the right person.

[DrPhil]

AmIblue? You can consider people assholes without announcing their assholeness. LOL. If I can't find a way to express my opinion of a situation I just limit my time around the person or thing. That includes pet lovers whose pets seem to be more important than humans. As for the Peanut Butter Parents, yet another illustration that policies tend to exist because humans are too stuck up our asses to do the right thing.

[Tulip86]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

I don't know if it's that they don't want people to attend as much as it is ignorance about how allergies can effect people. I've gotten the side eye from people who think I'm complaining about mild reactions and that I shouldn't inconvenience a host, when it's actually that my throat closes up as a result. For so many people in the world, I believe that if they don't directly experience something they don't believe it exists.

I think it's mostly this on her part, she's the same with her cooking, another of our pledge class is lactose intolerant but when she cooks she never bothers to check the labels if it's ok for her to eat. I think it's ignorance with a nice dash of selfish (in her case anyway).

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by Tulip86

I think it's mostly this on her part, she's the same with her cooking, another of our pledge class is lactose intolerant but when she cooks she never bothers to check the labels if it's ok for her to eat. I think it's ignorance with a nice dash of selfish (in her case anyway).

I think you all need to not let her host anymore.

[Tulip86]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

I think you all need to not let her host anymore.

We try

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by Tulip86

I think it's mostly this on her part, she's the same with her cooking, another of our pledge class is lactose intolerant but when she cooks she never bothers to check the labels if it's ok for her to eat. I think it's ignorance with a nice dash of selfish (in her case anyway).

She probably doesn't take allergies or things like lactose intolerance seriously, which is ridiculous.