You have animals, he/she is allergic

[33girl]

I'm going to sound like one of those 1950s movies and say that "keeping it casual" is really a pointless thing because you never know how your feelings will change, and you may end up in a difficult situation. Set your boundaries before you get there.

Pets/no pets are a dealbreaker, and if someone has zero trouble getting rid of their pet to placate you, that should be a dealbreaker too. The next lifetime commitment they make that they break may be to you.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Pets/no pets are a dealbreaker, and if someone has zero trouble getting rid of their pet to placate you, that should be a dealbreaker too. The next lifetime commitment they make that they break may be to you.

I disagree and don't consider pets a lifetime commitment. I consider them property. My family has owned dogs over the years that I loved dearly (one we had for 15 years and he died a few years ago ) but they were still lower on the totem pole than my relationships with humans.

[StealthMode]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

If a guy tells me it's him or the dog, the dog wins.

Amen! I'll leave it at that.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I disagree and don't consider pets a lifetime commitment. I consider them property. My family has owned dogs over the years that I loved dearly (one we had for 15 years and he died a few years ago ) but they were still lower on the totem pole than my relationships with humans.

Maybe you think that way, but unlike other property, if you abandon or surrender it, other humans end up paying in some way (either through tax support of shelters, health issues from strays or unwanted litters). Unless of course you can find a vet unethical enough to put an animal to sleep judt because you're over it. But as you said, fortunately you are self-aware enough not to have animals.

[DrPhil]

And I am definitely not the only person in the world who feels this way. Not every unwanted pet is sent to a shelter, abandoned on a street, or euthanized. You spoke definitively about pets as though there is only one way to legally and humanely view pets; and as though someone who would give up their pet is a demon spawn who can't commit to anything. That just isn't true in a general sense beyond personal opinion. Sometimes people give up pets because the owners, themselves, or their loved ones (adults or children) can become ill and hospitalized due to allergies. It is ridiculous to risk the health of you or loved ones for a pet. Not everyone considers pets a lifetime commitment that surpasses the happiness, well-being, and relationships with humans. People need to do what works for them and go based on their relationship deal breakers.

[cheerfulgreek]

Fortunately for both of us, we both love animals. Two cats and a dog.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

And I am definitely not the only person in the world who feels this way. Not every unwanted pet is sent to a shelter, abandoned on a street, or euthanized. You spoke definitively about pets as though there is only one way to legally and humanely view pets; and as though someone who would give up their pet is a demon spawn who can't commit to anything. That just isn't true in a general sense beyond personal opinion. Sometimes people give up pets because the owners, themselves, or their loved ones (adults or children) can become ill and hospitalized due to allergies. It is ridiculous to risk the health of you or loved ones for a pet. Not everyone considers pets a lifetime commitment that surpasses the happiness, well-being, and relationships with humans. People need to do what works for them and go based on their relationship deal breakers.

That came off harsher than I intended. Of course many times when boyfriend is allergic, pets go with no problem to parents or friends and all is well - winter said this would be the case with her. But my point is that taking in a living being is a responsibility and you need to be responsible if your situation changes and not just throw them back into the system for the rest of society to deal with. My cousin has jettisoned 2 cats & 2 horses because of THE BABY....the cats she didn't even wait until the baby was born to see how they'd react, and the horses she took after her marriage when she should thought a little further than the end of her nose about whether she would have time for them. That's the kind of irresponsibility that grinds my gears.

ETA: this also extends to what happens after you die. Ask a trusted friend if they'll be willing to care for whatever pets you might have after your death and put it in your will. Again, this is about being responsible and not putting more burden on an already overcrowded shelter/rescue system. Don't just assume friends and family will care for your pets.

[MTSUGURL]

Originally Posted by 33girl

ETA: this also extends to what happens after you die. Ask a trusted friend if they'll be willing to care for whatever pets you might have after your death and put it in your will. Again, this is about being responsible and not putting more burden on an already overcrowded shelter/rescue system. Don't just assume friends and family will care for your pets.

AMEN. My husband and I have already told my grandmother that we'll take her pomeranian if something were to happen to her while the dog is still alive. I doubt that will be the case, and honestly while the dog is a cutie I really hope she outlives him. She doesn't want to take him outside all the time so he's been trained to use the bathroom floor and then she just cleans it up. EW.

I've never understood the people that get a dog/cat/whatever and then say, "I'm pregnant! Can someone take my dog/cat/whatever?" I got my Gracie while I was single and from day one had her around other animals and children to get her used to any situation we might have in the future.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

I've never understood the people that get a dog/cat/whatever and then say, "I'm pregnant! Can someone take my dog/cat/whatever?" I got my Gracie while I was single and from day one had her around other animals and children to get her used to any situation we might have in the future.

Some people are worried about toxoplasmosis, but that's not even that common. And it wouldn't apply to dogs.

I think that some people are all-or-nothing when it comes to this sort of thing. They can't multitask. I know someone who got rid of her BIRD when she had a kid. Really? A bird eats seed and you clean its cage once a week.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by MTSUGURL

I've never understood the people that get a dog/cat/whatever and then say, "I'm pregnant! Can someone take my dog/cat/whatever?"

A lot of the problem with women ditching their cats when they get pregnant is because of their obstetrician. When the obstetrician says "just to be on the safe side, no cats", few women are willing to stand up to their OB and make the small changes or even be tested, in order to keep their cat.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Maybe you think that way, but unlike other property, if you abandon or surrender it, other humans end up paying in some way (either through tax support of shelters, health issues from strays or unwanted litters). Unless of course you can find a vet unethical enough to put an animal to sleep judt because you're over it. But as you said, fortunately you are self-aware enough not to have animals.

Wait, wait, wait, what about finding them another home?