2nd time rush sophomore

[sophomorerush]

So I'm a sophomore rushing again and I was wondering when asked if I rushed freshman year if I could just say I didn't. (I dropped after set 1, got cut from 12 to 1, long story, probably got blacklisted). Since I was only at the houses once, could I get away with this? For clarification, my school has upperclassmen quota.

[IndianaSigKap]

If you were dropped by 11 chapters in a single round, you have bigger problems than worrying about disclosing you rushed last year. You need to sit down and really evaluate why you were dropped. You say you were blacklisted, if this is true you must have done something fairly significant to warrant such treatment. If so, you will most likely be dropped again. Look at this analytically, could you have been dropped for other reasons: grades, lack of recommendations, no leadership roles, not putting your best self out there, no pre-existing relationships with sorority women?

Once you determine the issue, you need to correct it, if you can.

Also, be honest. Most of the chapters will know that you rushed the year before, not being honest could keep a chapter from giving you a chance.

[sophomorerush]

Sent you a pm!

[DubaiSis]

Don't lie. It will bite you in the arse. As I say over and over again here, you don't have to vomit out your life story on day one, and you can answer an unpleasant question and quickly move on to something better, but asked a direct question, DO NOT LIE. The good news for you is the sorority women don't want to have an uncomfortable conversation any more than you do, so they probably wouldn't bring it up.

But as IndianaSigKap said, if you banged the football team or the Panhellenic president's boyfriend or were the drunk girl who made worldwide news last fall, you probably need to seek out alternative avenues for friendships. If you think whatever you did to merit being "blacklisted" (which I highly doubt but that's a different discussion) may have passed or been forgotten, then by all means rush again.

I would be more likely to believe that you tanked round 1 of rush and felt like you had a neon sign hanging over you telling the world that you suck. If this is closer to the truth, and you have worked on your personal presence (appearance and conversations skills) since then, go ahead and give it another go. And if this IS the case, saying something like you were not prepared for rush and you really needed a year to get yourself together, wouldn't be a lie.

[sophomorerush]

My being "blacklisted" more of has to do with very stupid/concerning things I said at houses I didn't like that ended up getting blown out of proportion - won't make this mistake again

[33girl]

I can see if you would get cut from one or two chapters because you said something dumb, but the fact that 11/12 chapters cut you means you REALLY. SCREWED. UP.

Have you done anything to remedy the situation? Have you gotten to know sorority women through your classes, in your dorm, and extracurriculars? The best way to change people's minds about you is to show them their perception was wrong. If, however, you've been hiding out from anyone Greek and this is the first the women will be seeing you since last year's rush, you have an extremely uphill battle ahead of you.

[sophomorerush]

@33girl, nope I definitely know a lot more sorority women now.

Also another reason that might have hurt me a lot was the sub 3.0 gpa - worked on that a lot

[DubaiSis]

I guess it depends on how stupid and/or memorable your comments were. Go in being as gracious as at all possible and you might consider saying something like "I went through rush last year completely unprepared and filled with all kinds of negative perceptions. And needless to say, it didn't turn out well for me. Over the last year I've really matured and come to appreciate the value in EVERY sorority here at State U. You won't be asked about your comments from last year, even if they remember it, so it might be worth addressing proactively. But, and I can't stress this strongly enough, only if what you are saying is authentic and heartfelt. Don't be specific, don't repeat anything, even by way of explaining your boneheaded behavior and of course don't say anything negative about any sorority even if it's to explain how you felt last year. I was really stupid last year, I've matured, and I really hope to find my sorority home this year, should cover it. Then move on!

The good news is if it's a relatively large rush (several hundred girls) and what you said was snotty but not completely offensive, they may have just voted against you and forgotten all about it. If you have sorority women friends (real friends, not girl you know from class friends) I would address this with them now. But chances are your bad behavior at a few chapters probably was not broadcast to the others. That would have been your superior, entitled attitude that you seem to have gotten over. And word to the other rushees reading here, the rushees don't do the cutting! Be nice to everyone because you don't know how your feelings will change over time.

[sophomorerush]

@DubaiSis - it wasn't entitled behavior, it was more of being that weird girl who wasn't happy (which are issues that I no longer have at all). I actually met a girl in a similar situation - she dropped freshman year due to depression stuff and re rushed sophomore year and got into a great sorority

[sigma_tri]

I was in your boat not too long ago. I don't know what you said but I hope you did some major PR and talked to a lot of sisters. Time can heal most wounds for most girls but there will be those that remember. Don't being it up if it isn't brought up. Brush up your personal skills, and be prepared to shine like a new penny to show yourself in the best light and bring letters of rec.

[IndianaSigKap]

Originally Posted by sigma_tri

Brush up your personal skills, and be prepared to shine like a new penny to show yourself in the best light and bring letters of rec.

I think this is excellent advice.

[sophomorerush]

I've told like pretty much every sorority friend I know that I'm rushing this year. How bad would it be if I don't have recs? I'm trying very hard but it's difficult...

[DubaiSis]

It depends on the school but in a lot of sororities it buys you an invitation to round 2. THAT is why it's important in your case. If you made a bad first impression last year and a fine but not awesome first impression this year, that rec could give you another opportunity to break through. Just do your best at gathering them. Read through the threads about getting recs - it may trigger someone you haven't thought of before. Good luck! We all have moments in our past where we wish could have a second chance.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by sophomorerush

I've told like pretty much every sorority friend I know that I'm rushing this year. How bad would it be if I don't have recs? I'm trying very hard but it's difficult...

What have you tried that failed to yield any sources of recommendations?

Why can't you ask your sorority friends to direct you to alumnae who can write recommendations?

[MTSUGURL]

You might check in your area for a Panhellenic alumnae association and inquire about recommendations that way. The Facebook page for the one in my area has a lot of girls that have posted for info about recs and they seem to be getting favorable responses.