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Originally Posted by Cmg115
On a campus with only four fraternities, would one house know that I rushed another house and didn't get a bid?
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I think it depends more on campus size and culture. Generally speaking, the smaller the campus, the more likely they would know you rushed. However, they may not know you were not offered a bid. For all they know, you might have turned one down.
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Would they ask if I'd rushed before during rush?
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Yes, they will most likely ask if you rushed before. Or may already know you have rushed.
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If so what should my answer be? (Yes, obviously, but would they ask why I didn't get a bid, why I'm rushing again, etc...?)
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What you want to get across is that you really were (in your words) “clueless”. Sometimes the “come to Jesus moment” is what a chapter may be looking for in a member. Some men know before college, while others may need a year or so.
So as you noted, the answer is “yes”. You don’t know why you were not extended a bid, and even if you did, I would think it best to not discuss that if possible. Maybe just a simple "it wasn't a good fit" is all you need to say.
You know your campus better than we do, but I think saying something along what you wrote “When I first came to college I barely even knew what a fraternity was. I just knew them as guys that hate cargo shorts. But now I really have an appreciation for them, and I wish I had earlier, because I feel it really would've been beneficial” lets them know it took you a while to get to where you are now.
Side note: you may want to leave the “cargo shorts” reference out. But on the flip side, if it is said with humor and tact, it can be a nice “icebreaker”.
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If I were to ask guys I currently know in a fraternity whether or not they are planning on having rush in the spring, would they think I was being desperate or over eager or something? Or would they be happy I asked? Obviously nobody on this site knows exactly what will happen I'm just really trying to get a feel of what the atmosphere will be like in either spring rush or junior rush.
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Letting members know you are interested is good because otherwise, the chapter may not know you are still interested – especially given your class year. Regardless of all this, as was noted up thread, the important part of all this is the “Do we like this guy or not?" Maybe they don’t “dislike” you, but don’t know you well enough yet. Take the rest of this semester to meet more of the members and come spring, express your interest. (Note: depending on the campus and the chapters, receiving a bid as a junior may be more difficult. As such, I wouldn’t wait unless you truly don’t feel ready to rush in the spring.)
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I'm so anxious about all of it already. Not getting a bid to the fraternity I started this thread about was a huge blow to my confidence and pushed me back into a social shell that I thought I left behind in high school. Whether it's that one or one of the others, I am 100% confident that being in a fraternity is something I want to do. I'm sorry I'm just like saying everything at this point it's not even relevant to the original thread.
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There can be a fine line between “anxious” and “excited”. While fraternities like rushees who are excited about the chapter, if they are too anxious – and perhaps simply trying to do the “right thing” to get a bid and not fitting in - that can be a turn off. Again, it comes down to if you are a “right fit” – and “do we like this guy?”
Try to relax and use the rest of semester to get to know the members better. Keep an open mind and try to give it your best shot in the spring.
Best of luck to you.
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