Depledging and rushing in the spring

[Buck123]

Originally Posted by greekdee

You're smart to seek advice on this and not just abandon ship because a couple of guys have given you a small glimmer of hope that something better is in the future. First, you don't know that it would be better for you. All that glitters isn't gold, and some people have found themselves disappointed by their top tier experiences. Even if they're an awesome chapter full of great men, two members probably don't have the power to pull you through the door of a competitive house on a competitive campus, especially considering that you've already rushed them once and weren't offered a bid. Given the culture of most SEC schools (and it sounds like yours is one of the bigger ones for Greek life), leaving your current fraternity sounds awfully risky. You could depledge yourself right out of being Greek at all.

The fact that you're "not sure" if you made a mistake shows that more time is needed. Leaving your chapter isn't something you want to feel uncertain about. My advice is to stay where you are and really commit to doing all you can to making it feel like your fraternity. Make a real effort to involve yourself and get to know your pledge brothers and the actives. Plenty of people have felt iffy during their pledgeships, but gone on to love their houses. And you're right about the spring pledge stigma. I'm not sure if it's at all SEC schools, but it definitely is at some.

Thanks for the advice and to everyone else who gave advice. Just wanted to clear some stuff up, the people who promised to get me in the spring are actives and they told me its not really that hard to get in spring especially with knowing a few people in the fraternity.They had their current fall pledge class listed out in summer before people even came to school. I am currently sticking to my fraternity the best I can and giving it a chance. I also realize I could potentially get screwed with not being in a fraternity after all but I still have that glimmer of hope. Also one of the main reasons I wanted to join that top tier fraternity is the networking opportunities due to all the brothers in there being local..whereas my fraternity I'm pledging has a lot of northerners but also southerners (more northerners).

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Buck123

I am currently sticking to my fraternity the best I can and giving it a chance. I also realize I could potentially get screwed with not being in a fraternity after all but I still have that glimmer of hope.

Be careful here. As long as you're nurturing a "glimmer of hope" about the other fraternity, it's really hard, if not impossible, to give the fraternity you pledged a fair chance. Try to put that other possibility out of your mind. Besides, even if the guys talking to you are actives, they may not reflect the feelings of the chapter and it may not be as easy as they say.

Also one of the main reasons I wanted to join that top tier fraternity is the networking opportunities due to all the brothers in there being local..whereas my fraternity I'm pledging has a lot of northerners but also southerners (more northerners).

I'm Southern, and I get the Southern thing to a point. That said, don't discount (1) the possibility that some of the Northerners will stay after graduation, and (2) the value of a "network"* that reaches beyond your local region.

Best of luck!


* I know others may feel differently, but I am not a fan of "networking" as an end in and of itself. The concept is a huge turn-off for me, actually. But if it's important to you, you'll have lots of opportunities to network. Join a fraternity to make friends and form bonds of brotherhood. "Networks" will follow

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Be careful here. As long as you're nurturing a "glimmer of hope" about the other fraternity, it's really hard, if not impossible, to give the fraternity you pledged a fair chance. Try to put that other possibility out of your mind. Besides, even if the guys talking to you are actives, they may not reflect the feelings of the chapter and it may not be as easy as they say.

I'm Southern, and I get the Southern thing to a point. That said, don't discount (1) the possibility that some of the Northerners will stay after graduation, and (2) the value of a "network"* that reaches beyond your local region.

Best of luck!


* I know others may feel differently, but I am not a fan of "networking" as an end in and of itself. The concept is a huge turn-off for me, actually. But if it's important to you, you'll have lots of opportunities to network. Join a fraternity to make friends and form bonds of brotherhood. "Networks" will follow

My network of people that I met in college includes tons of people from other organizations and no organization at all. We met in class and clubs and through Greek Life. Networking should have nothing to do with whether you decide to say in a group or not.

OP, my impression is that this is about tiers and reputation for you. You want to be in a "top tier" fraternity and you aren't. You need to go watch Monsters University 1000 times and decide to be okay with being OK.