Hello! Recruitment advice(because this is too good to leave in the Intro Forum)

[befuddledperson]

I really want to join a sorority this year. I did recruitment last year and I know I got into a house that did not fit my personality AT ALL. So if I'm doing the recruitment process again, how do I show that sorority (and other sororities) that I'm not interested the first day of rush? I want to make the message clear to them and not get invited back for the rest of the week. I need advise/tips on how to do this. I will also be rushing as a junior this year. I really appreciate any advice!

[sdtennisgal]

Seriously?! To paraphrase a response I saw earlier on this site, something tells me this situation will work itself out just fine.

In the mean time (and for the benefit of any other PNM's who might read this thread):
-Trying to "send a message" to a house you don't like is 1. Extremely rude, as they have put a lot of effort into their recruitment. 2. A good way to get cut at other houses (as discussed before, women in sororities really don't hate each other, and with the communications available today, if a PNM makes a show of being a total hag at one house, there is a possibility another house will find out. With the current recruitment system, houses HAVE to make a certain percentage cut each day...this might give them a reason to cut you). 3. You may very well create some ill will towards you by girls in that sorority, who may be in a position to help (or not help) you in other areas of college life.
-Finally, you are a JUNIOR. Your options are going to be limited already. Why make it worse?

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by befuddledperson

I really want to join a sorority this year. I did recruitment last year and I know I got into a house that did not fit my personality AT ALL. So if I'm doing the recruitment process again, how do I show that sorority (and other sororities) that I'm not interested the first day of rush? I want to make the message clear to them and not get invited back for the rest of the week. I need advise/tips on how to do this. I will also be rushing as a junior this year. I really appreciate any advice!

Please save yourself the time and angst. Don't go through rush with this attitude. I don't think it will be a pretty ending.

[AZTheta]

In the memorable words of SWTXBelle: somehow I think your problem will resolve itself by the second round.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by befuddledperson

I really want to join a sorority this year. I did recruitment last year and I know I got into a house that did not fit my personality AT ALL. So if I'm doing the recruitment process again, how do I show that sorority (and other sororities) that I'm not interested the first day of rush? I want to make the message clear to them and not get invited back for the rest of the week. I need advise/tips on how to do this. I will also be rushing as a junior this year. I really appreciate any advice!

What sdtennisgirl said.

There's probably a good chance that same chapter won't offer you a bid anyway (because why give you another bid just to have you drop again?), and you shouldn't "send signals" to any chapter. Just go, be polite, and put your best foot forward. You're a junior, and you've already gone through recruitment before and dropped the chapter you were a part of. This has probably already limited your chances of receiving a bid greatly. Why limit them any more?

If you want to be Greek, treat each chapter the same and accept whatever it is you get. And if you do receive a bid, try to fit into that chapter. Because after that, you'll pretty much be SOL on getting a bid anywhere else.

[befuddledperson]

What I'm trying to say that isn't the sorority recruitment process a mutual selection?
Like what do you do in situations where you get invited back to a house you just did not want to be in? By no means, I do not have any hateful or mean intentions.

[DubaiSis]

It is mutual selection in that they pick you and you get to say yes or no to the bid. Beyond that, it's only mutual if you are very well-liked and get your top list, which is pretty rare in the era of RFM.

Here's what I'm hearing "I'm WAY too good for half of the chapters on my campus and I need to tell them so to leave me free, a junior who was given a chance in the past and didn't respect it, to pledge one of the chapters who didn't want me last year as a sophomore, but certainly will want me now as a junior."

Really, don't rush. You don't get what sorority membership is and you're never going to find a match for your inflated sense of self-worth.

/eta and think about the reverse. You go to rush and a/some chapter/s sit you down and say, "sweetie, you're just really not good enough for us so let's just sit here quietly and save my voice for girls who matter." Bitchy much? Yes. Arrogant, entitled, superior, not worth one more second of ANYONE'S time. Yes. A comment worthy of a chapter having their charter pulled? Possibly.
But you go ahead and give that a shot when you go through.

[befuddledperson]

Let's get one thing straight, I've NEVER said I'm better than the chapters on my campus. I just think that some personalities do not fit with my personality. That is all.

But you know, good job for making quick assumptions and judging things so quickly.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by befuddledperson

Let's get one thing straight, I've NEVER said I'm better than the chapters on my campus. I just think that some personalities do not fit with my personality. That is all.

But you know, good job for making quick assumptions and judging things so quickly.

You THINK some personalities might not fit with yours, but you don't even truly KNOW these chapters. And you're not even willing to get to know them, because you want to dismiss them on the first day of recruitment.

If this is going to continue to be your attitude, as DubaisSis said, don't bother to go through recruitment again.

[Katmandu]

On many campuses, being a junior will severely limit your options. Other schools may be more open to upperclass women. A chapter that offered you a bid you rejected is highly unlikely to invite you past the first mandatory round, so i don't think that will be an issue. No need to send signals other than gracious kindness. Chapters that cut you as a sophomore are likely to cut you as a junior, unless your situation radically changed over the past year, ie, major awards, offices on campus, drastic personality or appearance overhaul.

Mutual selection is misleading. The sororities hold 50 cards in the deck. PNMs can only react and respond to the sororities' initiatives. The sorority that offered you a bid felt you were a good enough fit to offer lifetime sisterhood. You didn't feel you were a fit. So be it. Just know that may have been your shot.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by befuddledperson

What I'm trying to say that isn't the sorority recruitment process a mutual selection?
Like what do you do in situations where you get invited back to a house you just did not want to be in? By no means, I do not have any hateful or mean intentions.

You do what your mama probably taught you. You go, you behave graciously and give no one any reason to think that you are anything but delighted to be there. You act like a lady. Period.

If you don't do this, then as already pointed out, your dilemma will resolve itself by 2nd round.

[justgo_withit]

As has been said on this website many times before: if you're at a school with medium or large chapters, an inability to find women you mesh well with in a group of 75+ is more a reflection of the PNM than the chapter. But, small chapter size perspective:

Say you do happen to be at a school with small (let's say, <50 women) chapters that do have distinct personalities. You're a junior, so you've actually gotten to know many sorority women and you legitimately feel that you wouldn't mesh well with a certain chapter. My initiating campus was like this, and juniors getting bids was not really unusual. The advice is still the same: go in with enthusiasm, grace, and kindness, making a real effort to form a connection with the women you meet regardless of your preconceived notions. To reiterate, sorority women all have friends, roommates, or study partners in other chapters and we do talk to each other. Your intentions do seem good, but there's really no way to express disinterest in a chapter without being rude. And who knows? You might meet a member of that chapter who completely changes your perspective on them.

In sorority life (and real life, for that matter) we all encounter situations that we really don't want to deal with -long chapter meetings, mandatory school presentations, endless recruitment practice- and we're looking for women who handle these situations with grace, maturity, and understanding.

[DGTess]

I come from a campus with small chapters with distinct personalities. I understand personalities not meshing.

However, in formal rush you do as (some) others have suggested -- be gracious because that's what well-mannered young women do. If you wanted back in to your previous chapter, they would know it, so it's unlikely you'd go back for Day 2, but if you do, be gracious again -- because that's what well-mannered women do. No one will force you to accept a bid.

[AOII Angel]

Be polite. They will likely release you after the first party regardless. No chapter wants to be rejected twice.