UGA 2013 Sorority Recruitment

[Lovethesand]

I'm not trying to be judgmental because I had serious concerns last year that Debbie might SIP but I wonder..... do girls SIP because they feel that it's better to be in THE ONE or none at all? It almost has a cut off your nose to spite your face moment of panic, over-reaction, drama, hurt feelings, anger, etc. I wonder if girls who've SIP'd can think back on it and agree that it was the best decision or if they regret it almost immediately. Just thinking out loud.

Side note: I told my husband last year that SIP was an option for my daughter and he looked at me like I was crazy. His words "I know it's been a lot of drama for you and her and I'm butting out but I hope you didn't encourage her to SIP. That makes no sense to me." I told him he was a boy and that girls think differently. He said "I don't get it. Go through a week of hell (his words) and then walk away at the end? Women."

[pinapple]

I think most girls SIP because they went into recruitment with either a favorite or a handful of favorites, or they succumb to tent talk. So if they are left with their favorite and one "not so much" or they have an overall "desirable by reputation" house, and one "not so desirable by reputation" house, they feel they will be in the house of "misfits" because that is how they have sold it to themselves. Most seasoned women agree that houses have base line commonalities. Sisterhood, tradition, support system, etc. But for some girls who build their lives around labels, from their jeans to the their handbags, to the shampoo they use, not having a "label" house is too much to bear.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by Lovethesand

I'm not trying to be judgmental because I had serious concerns last year that Debbie might SIP but I wonder..... do girls SIP because they feel that it's better to be in THE ONE or none at all? It almost has a cut off your nose to spite your face moment of panic, over-reaction, drama, hurt feelings, anger, etc. I wonder if girls who've SIP'd can think back on it and agree that it was the best decision or if they regret it almost immediately. Just thinking out loud.

Side note: I told my husband last year that SIP was an option for my daughter and he looked at me like I was crazy. His words "I know it's been a lot of drama for you and her and I'm butting out but I hope you didn't encourage her to SIP. That makes no sense to me." I told him he was a boy and that girls think differently. He said "I don't get it. Go through a week of hell (his words) and then walk away at the end? Women."

I like your husband.

I agree with Pineapple. The reason varies from woman to woman, though we do live in a world of brands. Some women probably do regret it, but recruitment often involves a lot of emotions and not a lot of time to deal with hurt.

FWIW, I SIPed in my first recruitment. Looking back now, I wouldn't regret it. I had felt incredibly uncomfortable in the chapter all week. The women constantly told me stories of situations that I would not have felt comfortable being around. They also constantly talked down about other chapters. The vibe they gave off during recruitment was about the opposite of what I wanted. I still don't think I would have done well there. Granted, recruitment didn't work out for me, but I didn't fit well with the campus which is why I transferred.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by pinapple

I think most girls SIP because they went into recruitment with either a favorite or a handful of favorites, or they succumb to tent talk. So if they are left with their favorite and one "not so much" or they have an overall "desirable by reputation" house, and one "not so desirable by reputation" house, they feel they will be in the house of "misfits" because that is how they have sold it to themselves. Most seasoned women agree that houses have base line commonalities. Sisterhood, tradition, support system, etc. But for some girls who build their lives around labels, from their jeans to the their handbags, to the shampoo they use, not having a "label" house is too much to bear.

This may be true, and since I haven't been through this type of recruitment, I don't know about "most".

I wonder, though.

Though there are (in many of these chapters) 150 or more women, the rushee doesn't see that. Just like she doesn't see that she is only a minuscule part of the "mutual" selection, she doesn't see anything but the women who rush her. She has no way of knowing what personalities comprise the chapter - what she sees is what the group - not knowing her - has allowed her to see.

It's so very easy to get a mistaken impression of something when you're only allowed to see a very small part of it. If she makes it through a couple of rounds without clicking with one of the rushers - or if she clicks in round 1 and then not again - can you blame her for thinking she might not fit?

Perception is reality.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by DGTess

It's so very easy to get a mistaken impression of something when you're only allowed to see a very small part of it. If she makes it through a couple of rounds without clicking with one of the rushers - or if she clicks in round 1 and then not again - can you blame her for thinking she might not fit?

Perception is reality.

True. When my niece rushed 3 years ago, she visited 1 chapter and her rusher pretty much sat and stared at her. But she was game to meet them again! The second round wasn't invitational either and another girl rushed her...and did not talk. Her roommate, who sat next to her at each party and corroborated the story, marveled that anyone could silence our niece, who could "talk the paint off walls".

You can figure out which group they both cut, even though 98% of the chapter might have been very friendly.

[PearlGirl13]

Originally Posted by Lovethesand

I'm not trying to be judgmental because I had serious concerns last year that Debbie might SIP but I wonder..... do girls SIP because they feel that it's better to be in THE ONE or none at all? It almost has a cut off your nose to spite your face moment of panic, over-reaction, drama, hurt feelings, anger, etc. I wonder if girls who've SIP'd can think back on it and agree that it was the best decision or if they regret it almost immediately. Just thinking out loud.

Side note: I told my husband last year that SIP was an option for my daughter and he looked at me like I was crazy. His words "I know it's been a lot of drama for you and her and I'm butting out but I hope you didn't encourage her to SIP. That makes no sense to me." I told him he was a boy and that girls think differently. He said "I don't get it. Go through a week of hell (his words) and then walk away at the end? Women."

My daughter suicided and had almost immediate regret. Thankfully it worked out for her and she received a bid, but her disappointment about not getting asked back to prefs at her "favorite" knocked her for a loop and she made an impulsive decision.

The one thing that I said that convinced her to hang in there and not drop out altogether was when I asked her if she wanted a wedding or to be married? I think that some girls get wrapped up in getting a bid in the same way that they get wrapped up in getting engaged or being the bride. They don't step back and see the long-term relationships that they will have the opportunity to form through a sisterhood.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by PearlGirl13

My daughter suicided and had almost immediate regret. Thankfully it worked out for her and she received a bid, but her disappointment about not getting asked back to prefs at her "favorite" knocked her for a loop and she made an impulsive decision.

The one thing that I said that convinced her to hang in there and not drop out altogether was when I asked her if she wanted a wedding or to be married? I think that some girls get wrapped up in getting a bid in the same way that they get wrapped up in getting engaged or being the bride. They don't step back and see the long-term relationships that they will have the opportunity to form through a sisterhood.

Excellent! I'll have to remember that! Thanks.

[carnation]

Oh, I love that!

[pinapple]

Originally Posted by PearlGirl13

The one thing that I said that convinced her to hang in there and not drop out altogether was when I asked her if she wanted a wedding or to be married? I think that some girls get wrapped up in getting a bid in the same way that they get wrapped up in getting engaged or being the bride. They don't step back and see the long-term relationships that they will have the opportunity to form through a sisterhood.

One of the best things I have read in a long time. Should be a banner running across the recruitment forum.