Trusting the system when there is bad situation

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by PinkPaisley

I would like to seek some advice for my daughter who will be a PNM this fall at a mid sized school with a small but growing Greek presence on campus. She will not be a legacy at this school- at another she would have been. There are 5 NPH sororities on campus, 4 of which are strong in community service, GPA, etc. Their numbers and retention is growing steadily. Then there is a sorority which is either on warning (or possibly probation) for grades. Their GPA is quite low and plummeted in the past two semesters. The chapter is at this time half the size of the others. They did little to no philanthropy last year, do not participate in Greek events, there have been altercations (physical brawls) with these girls and others while out on the town and other behavior that may be deemed a bit over the top. We live in this college town, and these situations are commonly known.

Of course I would love to say that all they need is some strong leadership and a few good years and strong PCs to improve and get back on track. I could actually see this as a given in a bigger school; but here, I am not sure that it will or even could happen, there has already been talk of the chapter being closed. Their downward trend started several years ago and has progressed. They have never been the strongest chapter.

My daughter has committed to being 100% open minded about the process and not picking favorites, honestly she believes she could fit in with any of the other 4- yet she still has some concerns about this house. Her concerns are NOT based on the "I don't want to be in this sorority because... " mindset, they are more along the lines of, "what happens if they fold in the next year? Where would I be then?" I think this is a valid concern on her part. So the advice I seek is a hypothetical situation- what to do if this chapter shows up on my daughters pref list. Take the risk, and put them down as a choice or suicide (yikes).

As I said, this is completely hypothetical, rush is weeks away for her, and there is no telling who will be on her pref card (maybe she won't even get to the pref rounds- who knows!) Yet I would like to get some insight from some knowledgeable ladies who may have heard of this type of situation before, and maybe it will be a good discussion.

Thank you in advance.

I'm going to say this in the nicest way possible:

1. Unless you are part of that sorority or its national organization, how is it that you can speak to the degree of probation that a chapter is on? And if you do know, consider if it is your info to be spread? Would you like it if this were your kid's house? Please don't spread this sort of thing during recruitment season.

Do you know how many times I've heard "I heard XYZ is closing next year?" from PNMs when that is FAR from the truth. Too many.

2. It seems like you are asking if there's some course of action that can be taken if your kid gets this chapter on her pref list. There is no "delete chapters I find to be too small for me to join" option within the recruitment software.

3. If she would not accept a bid from them, they do not need to be on her pref list. If that chapter is one of 2 options for her and she would like to ISP (tecnical term for "suicide") that one house, she needs to ask herself she'd be okay without a bid if it meant not having this chapter as a second choice (remember that any chapter a PNM attends for pref and lists on her card could end up being where she matches.)

4. Small note: Discussing how terrible and undesirable a chapter is does not help its reputation or help it to get any stronger. For example, your kid joins the house that is NEXT to Smallest Chapter. Continued trash talk hurts Smallest Chapter and they close. Your kid is now in the NEW Smallest Chapter. See how that works? So please take it easy on them because it could be YOUR kid's hypothetical group at some point.