Is Colony Recruitment Worth It?

[DubaiSis]

It doesn't matter why. If they are going to punish her because of something bad she's doing (which is their perception), then the OP has to work within that construct. Is it wrong? Yes. But that's what she's got to work with so the best we can do is give her advice to deal with it.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

If you are an adult and paying for your sorority I don't understand why that would be your parents' business if you are keeping up with your grades and everything else.

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

It doesn't matter why. If they are going to punish her because of something bad she's doing (which is their perception), then the OP has to work within that construct. Is it wrong? Yes. But that's what she's got to work with so the best we can do is give her advice to deal with it.

On the one hand, it is not their business and she is an adult to live her life as she pleases. On the other, if someone is paying your tuition and living expenses, and they threaten to cut off part or all of it if you join a sorority, I'd think you should consider your options. Unfair? It's their money and no legal obligation to support their adult kid. I'm sorry that this will be an unpopular opinion, but I do think the tangible benefits of graduating debt-free in today's society outweigh the intangible benefits of Greek Life. If OP will only be slightly burdened by the lack of financial support and is ok with that, that's another story. If she feels her parents are oppressive, I'd still take their money and then deal with that issue after she graduates debt-free.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

On the one hand, it is not their business and she is an adult to live her life as she pleases. On the other, if someone is paying your tuition and living expenses, and they threaten to cut off part or all of it if you join a sorority, I'd think you should consider your options. Unfair? It's their money and no legal obligation to support their adult kid. I'm sorry that this will be an unpopular opinion, but I do think the tangible benefits of graduating debt-free in today's society outweigh the intangible benefits of Greek Life. If OP will only be slightly burdened by the lack of financial support and is ok with that, that's another story. If she feels her parents are oppressive, I'd still take their money and then deal with that issue after she graduates debt-free.

The issue here has NOTHING to do with money or graduating debt-free. The issue here has to deal with overly controlling parents. "If you join and can't keep your grades up, you'll have to quit" - mean, but understandable. But flat out saying if you join this or that group, even if you pay for it all yourself and keep your grades up, you get less money? What's next? If you live in the coed dorm, we'll cut you off? If you don't get home on time for Thanksgiving break, we'll cut you off? "Assistance" with strings of this sort based on it has nothing to do with love for a child, it has to do with control.

Personally I think she should tell her parents to shove their money up their asses and emancipate herself, but that's easy for me to say.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Personally I think she should tell her parents to shove their money up their asses and emancipate herself, but that's easy for me to say.

Could not agree with you more. It's the lack of jobs out there and 5-6 figure debt that compels me to recommend students to suck it up until they graduate, and then do as they please. I paid my own way through (what was then a cheap) undergrad, and now that I'm saddled with insane grad school debt, I really think twice when students with a parent-paid ride want to bite the hand that feeds them. I think you're absolutely right, but if I had to do it over and had help, I'd gladly accept any restrictions on my social activities if it meant not having to live in this level of student debt.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Could not agree with you more. It's the lack of jobs out there and 5-6 figure debt that compels me to recommend students to suck it up until they graduate, and then do as they please. I paid my own way through (what was then a cheap) undergrad, and now that I'm saddled with insane grad school debt, I really think twice when students with a parent-paid ride want to bite the hand that feeds them. I think you're absolutely right, but if I had to do it over and had help, I'd gladly accept any restrictions on my social activities if it meant not having to live in this level of student debt.

So are you saying you'd be willing to give up your entire sorority experience if someone paid you enough? Whether that's accurate or not, I don't know, but I think it's really easy to say what you've said when you're already in a sorority.

To the OP - if you're willing to pay for it on your own, I say go for it. It doesn't sound as though your parents will stop talking to you entirely if you join, so what's the difference? If you understand that your path might be a little more difficult, and you know you can swing it on your own, and you truly feel that you want to be a part of Greek life, then you should try to be a part of Greek life.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

The issue here has NOTHING to do with money or graduating debt-free. The issue here has to deal with overly controlling parents.

Realistically, the issue has to do with all of the above.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Realistically, the issue has to do with all of the above.

I just meant that in the sense of this sounds like the tip of the iceberg with the parents saying "if you do ____ or don't do ______ we will withhold _____."