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I love that this Greek connection is something that has brought you and your dad closer. If I'm understanding you correctly, the letters your dad has (Phi Sigma Epsilon) haven't been active on your campus for at least 20 years. Plus, the group that Phi Sigma Epsilon morphed into eventually disbanded, so you can't consult with them about protocol.
In this case, you really just need to think about how wearing your dad's letters make you feel. My guess is that it makes you feel closer to him. If that's the case and you don't mind random people assuming those letters (either on a shirt or a lavalier) represent a romantic relationship, I think you should wear them with pride and enjoy your connection with your dad.
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